¡Ask a Mexican!: Dear Mexican: Looking back recently on my distant youth in northwest Ohio, I came to the realization that the sweetest, most beautiful girl this gabacho ever went out with (indeed, in my entire senior class) was the pure-blooded daughter of Mexican immigrants. Am I under the sway of 1) simple nostalgia; 2) racist exoticism; 3) premature senility; 4) a deep sense of loss for what might have been? Please help, before I start reading Proust! — Couldn’t Help Wondering Dear Gaba ... [MORE]
by Gustavo Arellano | 7/1/2009
Dear Uncle Mat : This spring I met a guy at Hooters. Yes, Hooters. He was totally hot and a big flirt. He asked me out and even though my friend warned me that he was a player, I said yes. The first date was great and the sex was right on par. We continued to hang out for the next three weeks. Then we went to a “mushroom cuddle” party. I was unaware that was the theme of the party but went along with the mushrooms and tried to enjoy myself. Unfortunately, I vomited up my shrooms and wasn’t very high. My new guy ... [MORE]
column: ARIES (March 21-April 19): Time to diversify your energy sources, Aries. It’s as if you’ve grown too dependent on oil — metaphorically speaking — and have neglected to develop relationships with wind turbines, solar panels, natural gas, and other mans of generating power. What if in the future — metaphorically speaking — oil becomes scarcer or wildly expensive? And what if, over the long haul, its byproducts degrade your environment? I suggest you start now to expand the variety of fuels you tap ... [MORE]
Dear Uncle Mat : I wrote to you last year regarding my own personal problems involving women upon entering my senior year. Now a proud high-school graduate, I can say your advice helped to make my last year one not completely lacking female promiscuity. That said, I’m writing you with a new question, seeing as you were very helpful last time. A friend of mind showed me an entry from an article online which offered an explanation for why many women are attracted to the jerk rather than the nice guy: “It ... [MORE]
¡Ask a Mexican!: Dear Mexican: You once asked why Mexican bands don’t hit it big in the good old US of A. I think the simple answer is that there are no Mexican Mouseketeers. You don’t get to be Justin Timberlake by picking a guitarrón. Slater from Saved by the Bell doesn’t count. The real question is why Disney, a company that started with its first big park in Anaheim and introduced us melanin-deficients to topiary and churros, denies its Mexican heritage? — Paddy O’Furniture ... [MORE]
by Gustavo Arellano | 6/24/2009
column: ARIES (March 21-April 19): Reality TV personality Spencer Pratt used to be skeptical about the power of prayer. But his wife Heidi, herself a devout believer, urged him to keep his mind open. Then, as an experiment, Spencer asked God to help him and Heidi get a double date with teen pop star Miley Cyrus and her boyfriend, despite the fact that neither of them even knew Cyrus. Apparently God heard and responded, because not too long after that, the hoped-for double date did indeed come to pass. I ... [MORE]
by By Rob Brezsny | 6/24/2009
Cuco Peeps: When she’s not devising harrowing reinterpretations of Disney’s saccharine America, artist Kelly O’Connor manages the extensive contemporary-art collection at the Linda Pace Foundatio and visits Harley the parrot at Pet Works. Artist in Residence apears the last Wednesday of every month. Click here to download Vol. I-III. Twin Sisters6322 N. New Braunfels(210) 822-0761twinsistersbakeryandcafe.comVaguely granola and very homey, Twin Sisters serves healthful ’70s-influenced breakfast a ... [MORE]
Dear Uncle Mat : Ever since I jumped in bed with my neighbor in reform school, I have pursued this kind of activity. I don’t go out of my way to look 4 gays, but I do run across them once in a while. Even though I have not been the receiver and am strictly a top person, would i still be considered gay? I also followed this pattern in prison 3 or 4 times per year, the max. For me it is easier to pursue a gay than a female. Why? Also a while back, I was checkin’ out ... [MORE]
Cuco Peeps: GROWING PAINS April is a glorious time in San Antonio, when anything seems possible. The weather brings out the optimist in everyone — especially the gardeners: Yes, it will rain this summer, and we can grow herbs! We will dine al fresco every evening! All we need to solve our little mosquito problem is a few well-placed citronella plants! Deep into May, we ping-pong between Home Depot and Lowe’s, trying to get the best deals on hibiscus, lantana, and those legendary “heat-tolerant shade plant ... [MORE]
by Gillian Fassel | 6/17/2009
¡Ask a Mexican!: Dear Mexican: I write to you with a doubt similar to the one that Incensed in Chicago felt a couple of weeks ago, when her friend couldn’t believe that Mexicans worked in professional, white-collar jobs. I live in Tijuana, and of the gabachos that put roots here, you can’t find a single professional. Just starving people and retirees. People who no longer have money to rent a house in San Diego. Those who aren’t swindling recovering drug addi ... [MORE]
by Gustavo Arellano | 6/17/2009
column: ARIES (March 21-April 19): Are you secretly afraid of feeling secure? Do you equate stability with being bored and lazy? Do you suspect that your restless pioneer spirit makes you unfit for the slow, meticulous work of building sturdy foundations? If so, there’s hope for you to change — especially if you make a big effort in the coming weeks. The moment is ripe for you to learn more about the arts of energizing comfort and stimulating calm and exci ... [MORE]
by Rob Brezsny | 6/17/2009
¡Ask a Mexican!: Dear Mexican: I was riding the local light rail when two female Mexicans sat down and started talking rapid-fire Spanish nonstop for 45 minutes! It seemed as if neither one stopped to take a breath of air. They were loud and could be heard the length of the train. Question: Is this why Mexican men are notorious for beating their women? If not, where did this notoriety originate? — Stonedeaf Whitebread ... [MORE]
by Gustavo Arellano | 6/10/2009
Free Speech Coalition will take Parade Ordinance suit to 5th Circuit
by: Elaine Wolff on 7/2/2009
Border Wall experience comes to San Antonio
by: gharman on 7/2/2009
Doggett denies reports White House pressured him into voting for climate bill
by: gharman on 7/2/2009
Anonymous said, "love dominic's shows -dave j.... "
Anonymous said, "The best proof that this band is getting "help" is that nobody else but the current writes about em.... "
Anonymous said, "Michelle is not the only woman who has had Fitzgerald try to get footsie with her. And that is some... "
Anonymous said, "These guys put on the best show in texas. ... "
Justin Rodriguez, Councilman, District 7
Anonymous said, "Hi everyone. My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists. ... "
Hutto: LULAC's Corrections Corporation of America connection
pedro_ruiz21 said, "So there is a Nazi police on these comment blogs because 3 of my posts that I recently posted have b... "
Anonymous said, "What kind of bands do you see that don't interact with the crowd? Whoever wrote that is full of shit... "
Anonymous said, "Erica SUCKS. If Ledaswan ever wanted a chance to "make it" they'd be better off dropping that singer... "

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