San Antonio Current

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Rode hard, put away wet

Cuco Peeps: What the fuck does it mean to fuck a bike?” Reverend Phil Sano asked the crowd at C4 Workspace on Monday, March 8. The dozens of San Antonians assembled in the King William community space were about to find out. Sano was screening Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound. Bike porn is both everything and nothing like you might imagine. For the Reverend, it’s a full-time job. The 33-year-old Portland resident, ordained by Seattle’s Church of Bicycle Jesus, spends a substantial part of his year on the ... [MORE]

by Ashley Lindstrom | 3/10/2010

¡Ask a Mexican!

column: Dear Mexican, When I was in high school, everyone called the Mexican students like myself “cheddars.” I’m not sure where this originated from, or what it really has to do with Mexican culture. When I have asked other Mexicans what this means, they are not sure, either. “Cheddar packing” is a term used to describe a car full of Mexicans. I hope you can answer this for me — muchas gracias! — Denver Doll Dear Cheddar, “Cheddar,” in the context you heard it, has nothing to do w ... [MORE]

by Gustavo Arellano | 3/10/2010

Dear Uncle Mat

Dear Uncle Mat : My job is eating my soul. I have a fair amount of debt, and I feel stuck in what I’m doing because although I don’t make much money, I have no qualifications to do anything else. The amount of stress and lack of sleep is causing me a variety of health issues, and I’m concerned about the potential effects on my relationship with my boyfriend, as the last job I held with this position destroyed my marriage. I work 50-plus hours a week in a physically demanding job only to make about $30,000/y ... [MORE]

Free Will Astrology

column: ARIES (March 21-April 19): Sarah Bernhardt (1844-1923) was called “the most famous actress the world has ever known.” She did a few films in the early days of the cinema, but most of her work was in the theater. At age 70, she played the role of the 13-year-old Juliet in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. I commend her on her refusal to act her age, and recommend that you make a comparable effort in the coming weeks. For example, if you’re in your twenties, try something you thought you wouldn’t do ... [MORE]

by Rob Brezsny | 3/10/2010

Dear Uncle Mat

Dear Uncle Mat : I have been having a casual affair with a classmate since the beginning of this semester. Well, we first slept together over the holidays, but didn’t start into a regular thing until classes started up again in the spring. We agreed it would be just for fun and that neither of us wanted a relationship right now. I am studying nursing and focused on transferring to a university in fall of 2011. He is studying kinesiology and will graduate next December. I really can’t imagine getting involved wit ... [MORE]

SA Owner's Manual Pop Quiz Answers

column: 1. Who invented nacho cheese sauce? (The company name is fine, but extra points if you know the family’s name and mega credit if you can name the late country-music legend who married, then divorced, the sister of the inventor). Frank Liberto, CEO of Ricos Products Company, invented the ubiquitous concession-stand nacho cheese sauce in 1976. His sister Vivian Liberto was married to Johnny Cash from 1954-1966. A sidenote: the Ricos mascot, a smiley droplet of nacho cheese ... [MORE]

by Sarah Fisch | 3/3/2010

¡Ask a Mexican!

column: Dear Mexican, I’m a pan blanco and my wife is puertorriqueña. Our son looks basically white, while a casual observer might admit that there is some Latin going on there. I’m not sure how this pertains to my question — it may or may not be worth mentioning. Our son is a high-functioning autistic 12-year old. The way he looks and behaves makes him a target for bullies. He is sweet and innocent. He doesn’t understand sarcasm or how to be cool. He studies hard and gets good grades. He is a ... [MORE]

by Gustavo Arellano | 3/3/2010

Free Will Astrology

Dear Uncle Mat : ARIES (March 21-April 19): To place yourself in smooth alignment with planetary rhythms, do conscientious work on the foundations of your life. Take extra care of the people who take care of you. Make sure you have a good supply of the various resources that keep you strong and steady. Check to see if maybe you need to rev up your emotional connection with the traditions you hold dear. But that’s only half your horoscope, Aries. Here’s the rest: Invite your most rambunctious playmates over for a ... [MORE]

by Rob Brezsny | 3/3/2010

Free Will Astrology

column: ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Everything is complicated,” wrote poet Wallace Stevens. “If that were not so, life and poetry and everything else would be a bore.” I hope you will choose his wisdom to serve as your guiding light in the coming weeks. It is high time, in my astrological opinion, for you to shed any resentment you might feel for the fact that life is a crazy tangle of mystifying and interesting stories. Celebrate it, Aries! Revel in it. Fall down on your knees and give holy thanks for ... [MORE]

by Rob Brezsny | 2/24/2010

¡Ask a Mexican!

column: Dear Mexican, I am a lifelong resident of Arizona and have worked side by side with illegals for 25 years as a bloquero. In all that time, I never knew ONE of them to be an aspiring American. In fact, their loyalties remain with their home states, they listen to mariachi and cumbia, and their trucks sport lots of Mexican-flag bumper stickers. Most of all, they have kept our wages below the national average — just ask any construction worker. That’s supposed to be OK? Because they work dirt ... [MORE]

by Gustavo Arellano | 2/24/2010

Dear Uncle Mat

Dear Uncle Mat : I have a friend who is very kind and generous. He has always been there for me and I am grateful for that. Whenever I have a problem, I know I can turn to him for advice and help. As of late he has been offering his advice when it is unsolicited. It’s not that it’s necessarily bad advice, but I really don’t need his opinion on everything. It is kind of what I imagine a nagging wife would be like. How do I politely tell him to butt out without hurting his feelings or losing the opportunity to hav ... [MORE]

The kids are all right

Cuco Peeps: Bryan and I had missed the chicken auction on Friday due to other work, and settled for the goat auction instead. We pulled into the San Antonio Stock Show and Rodeo public parking lot on Saturday afternoon about 15 minutes after the goat auction was to begin, and we were worried about missing it. We rushed toward the Auction Barn, asking people along the way for directions. We’re both native San Antonians who’ve spent significant time in New York City, but we noted than whenever we asked people ... [MORE]

by Sarah Fisch and Bryan Rindfuss | 2/24/2010