An Open Letter To The San Antonio Spurs: Give Lil B A Tryout
By Matt Stieb
on Fri, Aug 28, 2015 at 1:07 PM
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Rapper and aspiring Philadelphia D-Leaguer Lil B
On Twitter earlier this week, the Philadelphia 76ers' D-League affiliate invited Bay Area rapper Lil B to try out for the 2015 roster. Most likely, it's a (successful) attention grab for the NBA's third-worst team last season. For Lil B, as unique, prolific, hysterical and positive as he is, is not very good at basketball.
But on 2014's Hoop Life, he laid down the most focused and inspiring basketball rap mixtape since the six-times platinum Space Jam soundtrack. He's something of the Gary Payton of basketball rap — quick, mean-muggin', fearless and unpredictable.
It's just one reason the Spurs should extend a tryout to Lil B. With The BasedGod on the franchise, the Black and Silver could immediately throw a silly, media-friendly wrench into the perfectly respectable, all-business image that the team has worked so hard to maintain.
More importantly, it's an opportunity to get some occult power on the payroll. With The BasedGod on the Austin Spurs D-League team, the Lil B curse would be the front office's secret weapon in the race for seis. And Lil B could give freestyle lessons in an attempt to revive the Tony Parker's abysmal hip-hop career.
Plus, in the live music capitol, Lil B's presence on the bench would make Austin Spurs' ticket sales soar.
"Who's loyal to us? We're like the Spurs, frontline don't switch / Even Ginobili coming off the bench," he touts in "Hoop Life."
The BasedGod gets it. Texas needs it. Mr. Buford, Mr. Popovich, bring Lil B in for a tryout.