For our pick most likely to be made into a forgettable rom-com, strap on the tourist sandals and get yourself on a River Walk barge tour. Invent a backstory and make some friends on the 35-minute Rio San Antonio cruise, including that cute visitor with whom you'll fall in love and eventually have to break the shtick for (rom-com working title: Sleepless in San Anto?). Great for practicing sociopaths or embarrassed locals who've never done the tourist essentials, the faux-tourist River Walk trip begins a day of stereotypical San Antonio, including the Alamo (300 Alamo Plaza), La Villita (418 Villita St.) and the drive out to SeaWorld (10500 Sea World Dr.). Rio San Antonio Cruises, 205 N. Presa St., (210) 244-5700, riosanantonio.com
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