Artist in Residence Vol. III 

1. Roosevelt Park

331 Roosevelt Ave.

Bring a spring upon her cable, Lad! To the parks we go! A pleasant greenspace for swimming, walking, and general galivanting.

2. HemisFair Park

600 HemisFair

Strap on yer helmet Lad and Missy for an adventurous ride through historical landmarks and, if we’re lucky, we’ll get splashed by a fountain. Or we’ll get splintered by the timbered playground. Aarrrgh, darn splinters!

3. San Pedro Park

1315 San Pedro

Land Ho! I see a swimming pool ahead. Relax under the 100-year-old pecan trees and splash about in the family-friendly pool. Have a snowcone and experience a head-freeze. Aargh, me brain!

4. Palm Heights Park

1201 W. Malone

As a lad I ventured on the grounds of the Palm Heights for many a memory and plenty of fun activities. During the summer, a recreational fun time for all Li’l Buccaneers

5. Maria’s Café

1105 Nogalitos, (210) 227-7005

OK buckos, now listen closely: For a darn good tarrrtilla and home-cooked meals, Maria’s is a pirate’s home away from home. The owner’s warm and friendly, and her meals are cooked with a Maiden’s charm.

6. The Filling Station

701 S. St. Mary’s, (210) 444-2200

Ahhh, the Filling Station, a quaint stop for a healthful meal and a break from the sun.

7. Tuna Food

100 Probandt, (210) 212-5727,

A deckhand’s delight. Sit on the gangplank and enjoy hardy appetizers and smooth lemon of the ade! Ahhhhh, freshly squeezed!

8. La Parilla Azteca

1521 S. Flores, (210) 271-9533

Bear no arms to this Mesoamerican taarrqueria. The hosts are friendly and quite the family. The Papa con Huevo is worth your journey, and if you dare, the Tampiqueña Plate is a tear jerker of hot goodness.

9. Gyro’s Drive Inn

444 W. Mitchell, (210) 534-8381

A shipmate’s mate off the waters. A fish-burger combo is the way to any sailor’s heart. Home of the Crispy Dog and salivation-inducing homemade shakes. I get a chill down the ol’ spine.

10. Rudy’s Seafood

4122 S. Flores, (210) 532-1315

Drop yer anchor and kick the sand off yer boots; you’ve arrived at the true home of fried fish. Overseas it’s known as fish and chips; on our South Side it’s simply known as Rudy’s.

11. Bolner’s Meat Market

2900 S. Flores, (210) 533-5112

Just a short stroll from the mothership on the friendly streets of South Flores you’ll encounter yet another 100-year-old establishment serving the finest of Baarrr-B-Q’s and the sweetest of Bannana Pud’n — a sure hit for the empty belly of a weary pirate. A true Southside deli.

South Flores Arts District

Put on yer finest and carouse the birthplace of one of San Antonio’s homegrown artist communities. Every Second Saturday, these fine establishments open their doors to the public for art viewing, mingling, and general mixing of cultural stories.

Gallista Gallery

1913 S. Flores, (210) 212-8606,

Fl!ght Gallery

1906 S. Flores, (210) 872-2586,

One9Zero6 Gallery

1906 S. Flores, (210) 227-5718,

Smart Space Gallery

1906 S. Flores, (210) 227-5718

Lonestar Studios

107 Lone Star Blvd.,

Triangle Project Space

416 E. La Chappelle, (210) 224-7587

12. The Beach

31 E. Cevallos, (210) 229-1563

No sand here, just the tantalizing aroma of draft and finest of tequilas. A waterhole for the pirates who are truly pirates. Aarrrgh, the scallywags are a call’n!

13. La Tuna

100 Probandt, (210) 212-5727,

A gentleman’s bar, where a pirate can mix it with a wide selection of thy drafts. Lone Star always reminds me of the battles Texas supposedly won. Arrrgh, only a pirate can make such claims.

14. Sanchez Ice House

819 S. San Saba, (210) 223-0588

Strap on me shoes and slide over to the Sanchez , where a bucket of beer can multiply quickly, with the sounds of autos zooming overhead and Tejano music blaring through the sound box a dance away from outdoor heaven.

15. Guzman’s Ice House

2719 S. Flores, (210) 212-9584

Family-run since 1960 and family supported through a neighborhood of friends. A quaint place for pool, storytelling, and a barrage of draft being purchased by the locals a round at a time. A true-blue neighborhood cantina!

*And environs. He woudn’t be much of a pirate if he stuck to his own waters.

Speaking of Artres, Cuco Peeps

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