¡ASK A MEXICAN! 

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Dear Readers: Your faithful Mexican is putting the final touches on his coming magnum opus, Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America (out April 2012) and is thus at the rancho, getting handmade tortillas made by his chica in pigtails while he works on rewrites. But instead of a Best Of columna, I’ve decided to print excerpts from one of my all-time favorite reader interactions. Remember back in 2007, when I asked ustedes who are half-Mexican and half-something else to tell us what you call yourselves? The brilliant, hilarious responses offered show how genius the Mexi brain truly is. Space doesn’t allow your local rag to print all the responses, but below are just some of the best. You can find the full list online — in the meanwhile, enjoy and see you in una semana!

 

If you’re half-Mexican and ...

 

Half-African: Afrijoles

Half-anything: Inbetweener-beaner

Half-Arab: Garbanzo beaner, America’s worst nightmare

Half-Armenian: Armexian

Half-Australian: Aussican, Dingoles (say like frijoles), Fosters Especial, Mexi-roo, Ortegamite, Wallican

Half-Black: Black beans, Blaxican, Bro-Vato, Choco-Taco, Choligger, Mack, Mexiblack, Mexicoon, Negrexican, Tino Noir, Watermexican, Wetblack

Half-British: Limey beans

Half-Cajun: Bayou Beaner, Mexi-Gumbo, Mexicajun, Red Beans & Rice

Half-Canadian: Canexican

Half-Caribbean: Carribeaner

Half-Chinese: Chexican, Chinacan, Chinkano, Combination Plate, Mexinese, rice ’n’ beans, soy bean

Half-Colombian: Skakirikan

Half-Costa Rican: Mextica (“tico” is a nickname for Costa Ricans)

Half-Creole: Creolican

Half-Croatian: Cro-Mex

Half-Czech: Czecano, Czex-Mex, Czexican, Mexislovakian

Half-Eskimo: Mexkimo

Half-Filipino: ChicaPina (for Chicana and Pinay, which is a Tagalog slang term for Filipina), Chilipino, Filixan, Filitino, Flipamex, Flippican, JalaPinoy, Mexipino

Half-French: Frenchican

Half-Gabacho: Amerilanga (combination of American and chilanga, nickname for someone from Mexico City), Caucano, Chicangüera, Gabaxicano, GMC (Gringo-Mexico cross), Güerexican, Latinglo, Mexiglos, Mixican, Pochingo (half-pocho, half-gringo), Whispanic, white bean

Half-German: Beanerschnitzel, chili kraut, Germexican, wiener beaner

Half-Greek: Greexican, Grec-Mex, Mexi-eek (I never said all of the nicknames were clever).

Half-Guamanian: Chamexorro (Guam natives are called Chamorros), Guamexican

Half-Guatemalan: Chapano (chapínis a nickname for Guatemalans), Guacamex.

Half-Hawaiian: Jalapiña, pineapple salsa

Half-Hippie: Hippsican

Half-Honky: Chichonky

Half-Hungarian: Bohunk-Beaner

Half-Indian (the India kind): Curry tamale

Half-Indian (the Indian kind): Apachichano, Cherocano, Cheyennexican, Commanchano, Mexiskin (half-Mexican, half-Redskin), Navacano, Navajole, Navajo Taco

Half-Irish: Celtic Aztec, green bean, Irlandicanos, Leprecano, McBeaner, McSpic, Mick Spic, O’Beaner, Paddy-Mex

Half-Italian: Mexican pizza, Mexitalian, Spicawop, Spic-talian, Wopsican

Half-Jamaican: Jamexican, Rastacan

Half-Japanese: Japanic, Mexanese

Half-Jewish: Jalapeño bagel, Jumex (also the name of a delicious Mexican fruit nectar drink), Kahlua-jewa, kosher burrito, Mexi-Jew

Half-Korean: Kimchicano, Kimchinero, Korexican, Mexirean

Half-Lebanese: Lebxican, Mediterraxican, Mexiterranean (for those from the Mediterranean region in general)

Half-Lithuanian: Baltican, Baltic pepper, Lexican, Mexicainis, Mexiuanian

Half-Michigander: Michicano, Mixicano

Half-Nicaraguan: Nicatamal

Half-Norwegian: Lutefiskan, Mexinorske, Norskecan.

Half-Oklahomian: Chokies, Okie-Frijoles

Half-Pakistani: Mexistani.

Half-Panamanian: Panamex

Half-Peruvian: Lima Bean

Half-Polish: Bean Pole, Polo-Cholo, Polexican, Polexiqui (this particular gal was Yaqui Indian on her Mexican side; she also called herself a Mexipolaqui), Taco Polaco

Half-Portuguese: Mexi-guese, Pork and beans.

Half-Puerto Rican: Bori-Mex, Messyrican, Mexiricaña, MexiRican, Porto-Mex

Half-Redneck: Rednexican, Redback, Wetnec

Half-Russian: Brown Russian

Half-Salvadoran: Salvexican

Half-Samoan: Samexican

Half Scandinavian: Hispandinavian

Half-Scottish: McRiguez, Scottsican

Half-Slavic: Slavspic

Half-Somali: Hot Somali

Half-Swiss: Swexican, Swexicano

Half-Thai: Thaimex

Half-Turk: Turxican

Half-Ukrainian: Borscheros, Cossackeros, Kievicans, Pysankeros

Half-Vietnamese: Vietnamexican.

Half-White: Honky-Tonk, Gringateca, Mejiyanqui, Mexi-melts, Whics

 

Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter, or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!

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