last words 

My Security Slanket
By: Kiko Martinez

Imagine yourself wrapped up in a blanket like a tamale, lying on the couch watching the second of a back-to-back episode of your favorite show, Roseanne (Consider: the fatter the Roseanne, the better the episode), on the Oxygen channel (only for Roseanne!) one lazy Sunday afternoon. You’re warm and cozy and nothing — not a nagging wife or a ringing doorbell or the Apocalypse — is going to move you from that perfect position.

Suddenly, your show comes to an end and you realize up next is an all-day marathon of The Tyra Banks Show. Overcome with terror, your entire body freezes, except for your fingertips, which are fiddling under the blanket searching for the remote control. Once it’s in your hands, you point the clicker at the TV as best you can from under the covers and frantically begin to push buttons.

The channel, however, does not change. Your fluffy bedspread is blocking the infrared signal.

Two options: Emerge from the comfort of your comforter to channel surf, or endure the episode in which Tyra gets a sonogram of her 34Cs to prove they’re real. You choose, of course, to unwrap yourself and submit to the elements — your toasty toes are no more.

If you had a Slanket, you’d never have to choose between your enjoyable snugness and watchable programming.


How do you Slanket?
In addition to having full access to your remote control and both hands free to send an email or work on a term paper, here are a few other neat things you can do while nestled under your Slanket:
click to enlarge 20070417_182406_2_storyjpg
click to enlarge 20070417_182434_2_storyjpg
EAT
OK, so we’re not talking about steak dinners or anything (the Slanket’s Dumbledore-like sleeves might fall into the A1 Sauce anyway), but isn’t it nice to be able to munch on some popcorn while watching your favorite scary movie or Sanjaya?
CHEER
The NBA playoffs are right around the corner. If you’re a Spurs fan, don’t bottle up your excitement if you decide to stay home and watch the game. Show your Spurs spirit under your Slanket.
click to enlarge 20070417_182505_2_storyjpg
click to enlarge 20070417_182535_2_storyjpg
READ
Books, magazines, or your favorite alt-weekly newspaper, it’s all the same under the Slanket. Just remember, the Slanket may spontaneously combust if it comes into contact with dailies or faux-alts, so be careful.
CUDDLE
Sometimes the one you want to snuggle up with just isn’t as cold as you are. No problem. With the Slanket, belly-scratching and butterfly kisses never felt so good.

Created by 27-year-old entrepreneur Gary Clegg, the Slanket ($48.95 at Theslanket.com) is a simple-enough idea: Take a blanket and add sleeves. The inspiration for the product came to Clegg his freshman year while living in a cold dorm room at the University of Maine.

“Like some old colleges, the heating system wasn’t the best,” Clegg said. “My remote wouldn’t work through my blanket, so I just cut a hole to poke my remote out of it.”

While visiting home for Christmas break, Clegg said he asked his mom to improve his makeshift creation and sew a sleeve into one of his old blankets so he wouldn’t have to tear holes into any others.

And thus, the Slanket was created … almost.

“I used it for myself for about four years without even thinking about creating a business or selling it,” Clegg said. “But family and friends started asking for their own.”

Today, Theslanket.com sells fleece Slankets in five different colors (Gary sent me one in Ruby Wine) and ships across the world.

“A guy in Saudi Arabia ordered nine the other day,” Clegg said. “To know that someone in Finland has the Slanket I created is a really cool feeling.” 


Calendar

Newsletters

Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.