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Thursday, March 17, 2016

He Can't Be TrusTED: Ted Cruz Doesn't Like Avocados

Posted By on Thu, Mar 17, 2016 at 4:12 PM

click image Who doesn't like avocados, honestly? - FLICKR/MATT A.J.
  • Flickr/Matt A.J.
  • Who doesn't like avocados, honestly?
As if you needed any more reasons to believe Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer or the lead singer of American Christian heavy metal band, Stryper, Texas' junior senator recently shared some cringeworthy facts about himself. Namely — hold on to your butts — he hates avocados.

Now, what self-respecting Texan admits that? He eats just about everything else. In an US Weekly listicle found here, Cruz also reveals his favorite food is cheese (then again, who doesn't love cheese?), he's on level 350 of Candy Crush (prove it) and his favorite movie is Princess Bride (inconceivable!). 

But let's get back to the bit on avocados. Does Ted Cruz hate joy? What does his seven-layer dip look like? Does he ask for his enchiladas without guacamole salad? Was he completely immune to the avocado toast trend that ravaged the country? Does he hate healthy fats and creamy substitutes for mayo in his chicken salad? 

I guess he can stick with cooking bacon using a machine gun — more avocado for us. 

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