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Taken is not real. We promise.
A few years ago, numerous South Texas residents feared for their high school-aged children’s safety and pulled their offspring from a school-led trip to Europe because of the movie Taken and its fictional narrative, according to Texas Monthly. Liam Neeson told an Australian news outlet while doing press for the third installment of the franchise that he will now pen an open letter aimed at teaching these people the differences between fact and fiction.
It is important to have sympathy with someone who has difficulty grasping a concept, but damn, confusing a film with reality makes it difficult. If the Taken movies were documentary their concern follows a modicum of logic but they aren’t. Apparently for them it is reasonable for one man to thwart an Albanian human trafficking ring with a film crew by his side? If Liam Neeson can jump from 30-foot bridges unscathed and win shootouts with seasoned criminals the Academy might consider awarding the man with something more than an Oscar. And did they see Taken 2? No way that happens to the same guy twice.
Even if Neeson’s letter is persuasive enough to change their minds, I doubt the school trip will trek through Germany. If the parents have seen The Human Centipede they will surely pull their children from the dangerous European voyage. If they’ve seen Hostel they certainly won't backpack through Slovakia either unless they want to be tortured by a wannabe surgeon in a dank dungeon.
“I was shocked, I was shocked,” Neeson told News Corp Australia in a recent interview. “It’s fiction I know stuff happens in life but its still fiction, the Taken movies are fiction."
We’re right with you, Mr. Neeson. So just so we're clear, Taken 3, which premieres Friday is also not real. Also Neeson is not full of Midi-chlorians, nor is he the leader of the League of Assassins.
