Lost in the supermarket

Collegehumor.com compares stand-up comic Mitch Fatel to a “child lost in the supermarket.” It’s true that the awkward naïveté in Fatel’s delivery is what’s funny about a line such as “It’s so hard to have sex with girls. They’re always like, ‘No.’” The wild-eyed kid innocence probably also explains how he turned an almost entirely sex-obsessed act into a regular correspondent stint on Jay Leno’s usually tame Tonight Show. Fatel’s recent Comedy Central special, Mitch Fatel Is Magical, was released on DVD last September, and it’ll be re-broadcast this June on Showtime, with all the dirtiest parts intact. In anticipation of his four-night run at Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club, we talked to Fatel about the recent Tonight Show turmoil and why taking a date to his show’s more likely to close the deal than going to a romantic comedy.

You’re definitely one of the comedians people associate with the Tonight Show — you’ve been on it so much — so I’ve got to ask what your take on all of this is.

Number one, the 10 o’clock show failed because Jay didn’t use me on it. When Jay went over to the 10 o’clock spot, they basically said that they wanted it to be a whole new show, they didn’t want it to be a repeat of the Tonight Show, so they weren’t going to use any of the same comedians to go out and do any of the correspondent pieces, which I thought was a terrible idea. I think it bears me out that the show failed terribly without me, so I will totally take credit for the demise of the 10 o’clock show, and you can quote me on that.

As far as what Jay’s doing, I’ll just say I support it if he puts me on his new show, and if he doesn’t, I think it was a terrible, horrible move.

Do you get more action from being on the Tonight Show than when you’re on Late Night? Do ladies care that much about timeslots?

I would say the Tonight Show is probably single-handedly least important in me ever getting laid. I don’t consider it a hip show; it’s not a show that makes most girls wet when it comes on. The Comedy Central specials, though, that’s kind of the pipeline to pussy, if you will. The Conan show, that’s a hipper show, but I don’t think anyone’s getting laid from being on any of those shows.

Did you try using the Tonight Show on an older demographic? Did you ever go to a nursing home and try to pick up women? I bet you would’ve gotten more of a response.

No, but you’re giving me some ideas. I guess I could possibly get the Golden Girls crowd. Should I ever want an orgy with Blanche, I could probably put that together.

I read you originally didn’t want to release your first album `2004’s Miniskirts and Muffins` because you wanted to keep using those jokes. You had a DVD of your latest Comedy Central special come out a few months back. Have you had to write new jokes now, or are you hoping nobody’s seen it?
The DVD was one of the greatest experiences of my life because I used an hour of material I had worked on for about the last 10 years, and all of a sudden it was just done. What was shocking to me was how fast I wrote new material. The day after the special ran … I got onstage and I was like, oh my god, I have to almost start from scratch. It was kind of a great and scary feeling at the same time. It was like I was on a cliff and I was like, well, I just have to jump in now — the people in the audience know all of the material.

So I stuck with bits that I probably would’ve spit out earlier in my career and found a way to make it funny. … All those years that I threw out material, I probably could’ve kept it — I just gave up on it too fast.

You’re playing here on Valentine’s Day. What makes a Mitch Fatel show a good date? Remember, you’re competing with a new Julia Roberts movie.

I am so much better than a Julia Roberts movie. … If guys bring their girls, they’re definitely going to get laid. I have a 100-percent record of getting girls turned on when they watch me, because I talk so much about sex and I talk about it in a good way. … I’ve never been a guy who ever talks about women in any other respect than how amazing they are and how the world would be a miserable place without them. I have a lot of people who say they met at my shows and they invite me to their wedding. Somehow I’ve been good at bringing couples together. … We’ll have a great time, and then we’ll all have a group orgy afterwards. •

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