Vice and Virtue
Nicest Lingerie Shop
Victoria’s Secret
Multiple locations, victoriassecret.com
Oh ladies, we couldn’t agree with you more on this one. As lace-loving lingerie fans ourselves, we rejoice at the store’s semi-annual sales, held each year in January and May, plus we’re addicted to the Secret Garden collection of body-care products. Shades of Love got some love, too; no wonder, with a classy line of lingerie, including our favorite: the math-tutor fantasy wear. Ruler not included.
2. Frederick’s of Hollywood
Multiple locations,
fredericks.com
3. Shades of Love
300 W. Bitters
(210) 494-3006
theshadesoflove.com
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Best Sex Toy Shop
Adult Video Megaplexxx
Multiple locations
Sexysite.com
2008 marks the fourth consecutive year that Adult Video Megaplexxx has won the best sex toy shop title. With their specials and Wednesday ladies days (20-percent off!), they’ve successfully satisfied the needs of San Anto’s sex-craved crowds. Zebraz shows its true stripes with their plentiful selection of gay-pride merchandise and female-interest movies (including the 1999 indie flick Better Than Chocolate). Plus, you can’t go wrong with their Kama Sutra massage oils.
2. Shades of Love
300 W. Bitters
(210) 494-3006
theshadesoflove.com
3. Zebraz
1608 N. Main Ave.
(210) 472-2800
zebraz.com
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Best Swingers Club
Players Club
8235 Vicar
(210) 691-2050
texasplayers.com
Had no idea so many San Antonians were into throwin’ their keys in the bowl, but seeing as more of you voted on this than, say, Best Local Blogger, I have to assume so. How modern, in this perceived uber-conservative, uber-Catholic town. (But then if there’s one thing conservative politicians taught us last year, it’s that conservatives aren’t necessarily so conservative when it comes to fucking.)
Players is a members-only, BYOB swingers club for couples and single ladies (What? No dudes?) whose “Staff and management are always available to ensure your experiences are always memorable and pleasant.”
2. Shennanigans
8011 N New Braunfels Ave
(210) 822-4613
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Most Pro Strippers
Sugar’s
2731 NW Loop 410
(210) 340-1289
I know, everyone’s just dying for me to delve into a feminist/post-feminist compare-and-contrast here, or insult you for actually paying for blue balls (yeah, you love it), but weirdly, at this particular moment, I’m just curious about what constitutes a “most professional” stripper. S/he never breaks the no-touching rule? Is always on-beat? Vigilant pole-polisher?
According to the management at Sugar’s, it’s their standard of beauty and personality that makes Sugar’s’ dancers so popular with our readers. (Psh, you should meet the Current’s staff.) Says top-dog Richie Avants: “We always try to keep the party going.”
2. The Palace
2482 NE Loop 410
(210) 590-6011
thepalace-mensclub.com/
3. All Stars
multiple locations
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Best Bowling Alley
AMF Country Lanes
13307 San Pedro Ave.
(210) 496-3811
amf.com
Bowling is the great populist sport in America, because it cuts across class, gender, and age distinctions. AMF Country Lanes is popular at least partly because of the cross section it attracts. A spacious site with 48 lanes (second only to Bandera Bowl among local alleys), it welcomes league competition during the week, with mornings dominated by women’s teams and evenings featuring mixed squads. On the weekends, Country Lanes becomes a family haven, hosting countless birthday parties and helping introduce the sport of kinpins to a new generation.
2. Bandera Bowl
6700 Huebner Rd.
(210) 523-1716
3. Oak Hills Lanes
7330 Callaghan Rd.
(210) 344-6251
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Nicest Public Tennis Courts
McFarlin Tennis Center
1503 San Pedro Ave.
(210) 732-1223
With tennis courts, as with real estate, location counts for a lot. McFarlin Tennis Center owes at least part of its popularity to the fact that it’s centrally located, at the highly appealing San Pedro Park. But it also boasts 22 courts available for day and night play, with reasonable rental rates ($2.50/hour for adults before 5 p.m., and $3.50 after 5 p.m.; $1/hour for juniors and seniors before 5, and $1.50 after). McFarlin regularly hosts youth tournaments, and is open every day of the week, except for Sundays.
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Hottest Public Basketball Courts
Lady Bird Johnson Park
10700 Nacogdoches
sanantonio.gov/sapar/index.asp
Lady Bird Johnson Park also won Best Skate Park.
Antonia Padilla
Ah, youth. To be an adolescent in the 21st century seems so much more cooler than it did back in the day. Over at Lady Bird Johnson Park, you can find the high-school kids (and post-college crowd) shooting hoops and the junior-high and alt-high-school guys (and girls, too) doing the usual skateboarding tricks.
The park is huge, and holds a tennis court, softball field, and of course, basketball courts (which on the day we visited weren’t nearly as crowded as the skating facility — although the b-ball courts look ideal for day-long tournaments). The skate bowl, hidden on the side of Lou Hamilton Center, is credited as being one of the first in the country “to combine a swimming pool and skate bowl to provide a multi-use facility.” The 7,000-square-foot bowl is an ideal locale for skaters to try out their hurricane grind or, for you amateurs, to perfect your ollie skills.
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Coolest Public Swimming Hole/Pool
San Pedro Springs Pool
2200 N. Flores
(210) 732-5992
sanantonio.gov/sapar/swimming.asp
Swimming — or rather bathing, given its shallow reaches — in the cypress-ringed pool at San Pedro Springs is a bittersweet experience. It sits where a spring-fed lake once stood, and around the park’s edges you can see remnants the city’s antique acequia system. San Pedro is famously old, second only to Boston Commons in the annals of American public green space, and it’s had a hard life off and on since the Spanish government first claimed it from the natives in the 18th century. Troops were quartered, zoo animals were detained for amusement, caves were filled in, springs were tapped out – but for all that it’s still a lovely spot to sun yourself and contemplate the nearby downtown skyline (and urban renewal) from the southernmost edge of Monte Vista.
2. Woodlawn Lake Park Pool (don’t swim in the lake!)
1100 Cincinnati
(210) 732-5789
sanantonio.gov/sapar/swimming.asp
3. San Antonio Natatorium?
1430 W. Durango?
(210) 226-8541
sanantonio.gov/sapar/swimming.asp
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Best Skateboard Shop
Goodtimes Skateboards
8800 Broadway
(210) 822-4721
goodtimesskateboards.net
Chuck Kerr
Walk into Goodtimes Skateboards and you’re met by a wall full of skateboard decks, an assortment of skate shoes, and a friendly staff of 20-something skaters (who aren’t afraid to tell their mom “I love you” over the phone.). The shop carries everything from Emerica shoes to Gnarbo shades. Goodtimes Skateboards just celebrated their 15th anniversary in October 2007 and doesn’t plan to stop doing kickflips anytime soon.
2. 1st and 10
2339 Vance Jackson
(210) 320-8147
myspace.com/1stand10skateboards
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Best Skate Park
Lady Bird Johnson Park
10700 Nacogdoches
sanantonio.gov/sapar/index.asp
Lady Bird Johnson Park also won Hottest Public Basketball Courts.
Ah, youth. To be an adolescent in the 21st century seems so much more cooler than it did back in the day (well, with the exception of those godawful hairdo’s these youngin’ are sportin’ now ... although, we’re sure we didn’t look all too hot in junior high, either). Over at Lady Bird Johnson Park, you can find the high-school kids (and post-college crowd) shooting hoops and the junior-high and alt-high-school guys (and girls, too) doing the usual skateboarding tricks.
The park is huge, and holds a tennis court, softball field, and of course, basketball courts (which on the day we visited weren’t nearly as crowded as the skating facility — although the b-ball courts look ideal for day-long tournaments). The skate bowl, hidden on the side of Lou Hamilton Center, is credited as being one of the first in the country “to combine a swimming pool and skate bowl to provide a multi-use facility.” The 7,000-square-foot bowl is an ideal locale for skaters to try out their hurricane grind or, for you amateurs, to perfect your ollie skills.
2. San Pedro Park
1315 San Pedro
sanantonio.gov/sapar/
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Most Challenging Public Golf Course
Pecan Valley Golf Club
4700 Pecan Valley Dr.
(210) 333-9018
pecanvalleygc.com
We could tell you that Pecan Valley is consistently acknowledged by experts as one of the best courses in the state. We could point out that its majestic design has made it a local favorite since 1963. We could mention that Pecan Valley was the locale for three Texas Open tournaments. But this should say everything that needs to be said: In 1968, Pecan Valley hosted the PGA Championship, with Julius Boros beating Arnold Palmer on the final hole. Knowing that Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, and countless other greats walked these fairways in search of a major title should be a sufficient recommendation.
2. The Quarry Golf Club
444. E. Basse
(210) 824-4500
quarrygolf.com
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Most Jammin' Jukebox
Bar America (tie)
723 S. Alamo
(210) 223-7462
Pig Stand (tie)
1508 Broadway
(210) 222-2794
Context means everything with music, so no matter how much you may love to hear contemporary pop at a dance club, you want your neighborhood establishment’s jukebox to be loaded with vintage stuff. Bar America is a low-budget, beer-and-billiards mecca for locals, and its jukebox collection of big-band swing, classic Nashville, and regional conjunto makes you feel as if you’re still living in an era when movie double-features were a nickel. The Pig Stand, a local institution for 87 years, also brings it old-school, serving up baby-boomer favorites such as Neil Diamond, Cher, the Mamas and the Papas, and Elton John.
2. (tie):
The Annex
330 San Pedro
(210) 223-6957
Jiggers
639 Babcock
(210) 348-2955
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Hottest Dance Floor
The Bonham Exchange
411 Bonham
(210) 271-3811
bonhamexchange.net
The Bonham also won Hottest Nightclub.
Located on the corner of Houston and Bonham streets downtown, the Bonham Exchange is the prime spot for a no-holds-barred, out till 3 a.m., tacos-on-the-way-home extravaganza. The line to get in snakes down the street on weekends, guaranteeing a 30-minute-minimum wait if you arrive after 11 p.m. Experienced regulars will drop by for a wristband early in the evening to avoid the queue. Once inside, the place is guaranteed to be packed. You can (and will) lose the 10 friends you came with, but sometimes getting lost is part of the fun. Drinks are cheap and specials abound, but the bars are usually slammed five deep, so order two at a time. The huge, multi-level building has plenty of character, sporting wooden floors, themed rooms, and ornate staircases, while three dance floors blare various types of dance music for sweaty, wall-to-wall crowds. One of many highlights is the huge electronica room with a balcony level overlooking the raver crowd below. Another dance room offers a wall of TV screens, alternating between lots of small versions or one giant image of the selected music video. A night at the Bonham is a night to plan for, paying tribute to a special event or someone’s birthday. It’s no place to be a wallflower — it’s the place to let it all hang out.
2. Limelight
(Fuck Yeah! Thursdays)
2718 N. St. Mary’s
(210) 735-7775
myspace.com/limelightsa
3. Semenaya Ballroom
2899 NE Loop 410
(210) 946-2899
semenayaballroom.com
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Most Talented Club DJ
Leo Torrez @ Bogart’s Cocktails
8323 Culebra Rd., (210) 521-6969
Bogart’s also won Wildest Karaoke.
Justin Parr There are two distinct groups of people who really like karaoke: 1) Those who approach it like American Idol, honestly going for it in hopes that people turn to their friends and say, “Wow, that didn’t suck.” 2) Those who live for picking out the cheesiest ’80s songs they can find to see who racks up the most laughs. We’ve a fondness for the latter — if you’ve ever seen two guys belting out Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of The Heart,” you’ll know why. A Saturday night at Bogart’s Cocktails offered a bit of both. People were definitely there for karaoke, as tables were full and songbooks abounded. We walked in to a fairly good rendition of ZZ Top’s “I’m Bad, I’m Nationwide,” ordered vodka tonics and scraped into the last available two-seater facing the performers. Located in a large strip-mallish shopping center off Culebra, Bogart’s is a casual lounge sporting pool tables, darts, and the like, which is transformed by House Party Karaoke every Friday and Saturday night. The mobile karaoke show is run by a rotating group of hosts, and Cynthia took over the mic on this particular Saturday. An older couple teamed up for a less serious and more fun approach to “Summer Nights” from Grease and they scored raucous applause. House Party Karaoke keeps the vibe going with songs between performers, and some of DJ Leo Torrez’s better offerings were Juvenile’s “Back That Ass Up,” Buffalo Springfield’s “For What It’s Worth,” and an interesting dance remix of “Back in the USSR.” The highlight of the night was a young male singer taking on Alicia Keys’ “No One” with absolutely no karaoke screen help and absolutely doing the song justice.
2. DJ Jester
DJ Jester can be found performing regularly in the basement of the Revolution Room
8123 Broadway
(210) 320-4567
3. Tie
Donnie D
Donnie D is the in-house resident DJ for San Antonio's ProSlam Poetry
Team, and be found spinning regularly Tuesdays at Atomix,
1902 McCullough, (210) 733-3855.
Daecos Omoxi
Daecos Omoxi is part of the Fuck Yeah! crew, and can be found spinning
Thursdays at Limelight, 2718 N. St. Mary's St., (210) 735-7775.
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Funniest Comedy Club
Rivercenter Comedy Club
849 E. Commerce, (210) 229-1420, rivercentercomedyclub.com
After experiencing the brutal, yet hilarious brand of comedy found on the East Coast firsthand, it may feel as if San Antonio has a long way to go on the comedy front. But some start-up comedy nights have been cropping up recently, and hopefully they’ll play a part in the evolution of San Antonio’s scene. Rivercenter Comedy Club is still the big name as far as venues go, mixing touring A-listers like Carlos Mencia and George Lopez with the likes of San Antonio’s own Oxymorons Improv Troupe, who grace the stage every Tuesday night.
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Wildest Karaoke
Bogart’s Cocktails
8323 Culebra Rd., (210) 521-6969
housepartykaraoke.net/saturdaybogarts.html
Bogart’s also won Most Talented Club DJ.
2. Dad’s Karaoke Bar
2615 Mossrock
(210) 340-3887
3. Bitter Karaoke w. Jay Whitecotton at:
SoHo
214 W. Crockett
(210) 444-1000
Alibi’s
1141 E. Commerce
(210) 225-5552
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Suavest Dance Instructor
Lee Rios, Semeneya Ballroom
2899 NE Loop 410
(210) 946-2899
semeneyaballroom.com
Justin Parr
If you were born to bachata or crave to cumbia but never learned to put those wrinkled old toes to any better use than tapping, there is a man you can turn to, as your fellow residents have learned again and again: Lee Rios at Semeneya Ballroom. A military brat on course for the brass himself, Rios’s love of salsa dancing spoiled a perfectly good banking job and future career with the military. Rios broke ranks to start teaching Latin dance out of his home a decade ago. After getting knocked around for a season or two, Rios found his footing. Since then he has gone on to teach and perform in the international cities of Venice, Paris, London, Berlin, and Barcelona. “It wasn’t a pretty picture all the time,” he recalls. “There’s times I was living like a king and times I was living in the studio because I couldn’t afford rent.”Rios’s partnership with the accomplished Mario Allva and Liila Roberts is creating a tropical stir in San Antonio’s social circles, too. Maybe you’re looking to get away from the house or just hang out with some new faces for a while. Semeneya is a “huge networking tool,” Rios says. “We get people with low self-esteem and they totally do a 180 … They get to be with people they never thought in their lives they’d be hanging out with.” Which may help explain why readers also chose this hot ballroom floor as the best place to hide from the kids.“It looks like a crazy road, but there’s a lot of great things that are happening.”
2. Patrick McMillan
patrickmcmillan.com
3. Jack Mack
Dancing the Rainbow
5337 Glen Ridge Suite 119
(210) 396-6874
dancingtherainbow.com
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Best Park for a Picnic
Brackenridge Park
3700 N. St. Mary’s
sanantonio.gov/sapar/
Brackenridge Park also won Kid-friendliest Park.
Jeanna Goodrich
The 344-acre inner-city haven that is Brackenridge Park recently underwent a major renovation that converted winding back roads to hike-and-bike trails, repaired and extended paths through the woods, and installed sculptures by Anne Wallace and Susan Budge. (Wallace’s “Glorieta” refers, in part, to the parks’ former subversive underside as a hookup site). The improvements have only made this century-old treasure more popular, while eliminating some of the parking spots along those former roads. To the rescue for those sunny weekends when the picnic areas and playgrounds are packed with barbecuing familia: an eco-friendly parking garage on the site of the old City nursery grounds that will serve the park, its zoo, and the adjacent Witte Museum.
The park, which got its start in 1906 with a 200-acre grant from water czar George Brackenridge, reclaimed another piece of its golden past this spring when the Japanese Sunken Gardens were reopened after extensive repairs to the pools. Although the tram is gone, never to return, the Koi are back, and from the old bathing-house jungle gym to the miniature train, Brackenridge offers a full weekend of fun. When the River Improvements project finishes its work in a few years, you’ll be able to hike or bike all the way to the Missions, too.
2. San Pedro Park
1315 San Pedro
3. Tie:
McAllister Park
13102 Jones-Maltsberger
Woodlawn Lake
1103 Cincinnati
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Best Live Music Festival
Jazz’s Alive
September 20-21, 2008
Travis Park
saparksfoundation.org/jazzalive.html
An early-fall event produced annually by the San Antonio Parks Foundation, Jazz’SAlive has divided the jazz community over the years with its emphasis on mellowed-out instrumental pop. But this Travis Park festival has sporadically lived up to its name with performers such as Ron Wilkins, Bett Butler, and the highly percussive Henry Brun & the Latin Playerz. If it hasn’t realized its potential yet, there’s always the hope that it will.
2. OzzFest
August 4, 2007
Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre
Ozzfest.com
3. Bob Marley Festival/Legends of Rasta Reggae
November 10-11, 2007
Sunken Garden Theatre
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Best Live Music Venue
Limelight
2718 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 735-7775
myspace.com/limelightsa
2718 on the North St. Mary’s strip has played host to several different venues in the past few years, but it’s now the home of the Limelight and is a regular stop on the local scenester circuit. Rising from the ashes of Wacky’s a bit over two years ago, the Limelight underwent an extreme facelift that transformed it into its present state. Walk inside for a breath of fresh air — it may feel as if you’ve stepped outside of San Antonio. Indie-rockers frequently grace the stage and select DJs take to the decks on designated nights to keep the dance floor packed ’n’ sweaty.
2. White Rabbit
2410 N. St. Mary’s St, (210) 737-2221
myspace.com/officialwhiterabbitsa
3. Sam’s Burger Joint
330 E. Grayson, (210) 223-2830, samsburgerjoint.com
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Most Comfy Movie Theater
The Palladium
17703 IH-10 West
(210) 798-9949
You with your newness and IMAX screens and proximity to shopping and incompetent lobby baristas. I’m not bitter about missing the first part of I Am Legend because I was waiting for half an hour in your “we proudly serve Starbucks Coffee” line. It’s cool. Because you have gelato, and cheesy Greco-Roman decor, and super-comfy seats.
The Bijou, another property of local-moviehouse magnate Santikos, didn’t fare too badly either. And why not? Critical Darling would have been way too bummed to get through The 11th Hour without that strawberry margarita with extra salt. Wait, is that unethical?
2. The Bijou at Crossroads Cinema
4522 Fredericksburg Rd
(210) 734-4552
santikos.com/bijou.html
3. Alamo Drafthouse
1255 SW Loop 410
(210) 677-8500
drafthouse.com
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Edgiest gallery
Blue Star Contemporary Art Center
116 Blue Star
(210) 227-6960
bluestarart.org
In keeping with its buck-the-establishment origins, 22-year-old Blue Star stirred things up in September with their Fotoseptiembre USA exhibition Photo Plus featuring Oliver Herring’s controversial photo collage of a naked man. The contemporary-art gallery later impressed crowds with Frozen Music II: The Architecture of Ricardo Legorreta, and the July schedule promises a much-anticipated one-man show by Alex Rubio (with Blue Star executive director Bill FitzGibbons curating). Fl!GHT Gallery books multifaceted artists such as Ben Judson, Vaago Weiland, and Robert Tatum. Their upcoming show featuring the works of New York-based photographer Shaun Jarvis isn’t too shabby, either.
2. FL!GHT
1906 S. Flores
(210) 872-2586
turnitoff.tv
3. Joan Grona Gallery
112 Blue Star
(210) 225-6334
joangronagallery.com
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Classiest museum
McNay Art Museum
6000 N. New Braunfels, (210) 824-5368, mcnayart.org
Closed since December 2007 for a hotly anticipated Jean-Paul Viguier-designed addition, the McNay Art Museum snagged the top spot in this category. Although voters passed over some amazing art-institution developments to honor Marion Koogler McNay’s legacy (What? The Greek and Roman galleries at SAMA wasn’t good enough for you?!), the modern- and contemporary-art haven has acquired some pretty fantastic pieces recently, such as the Kiki Smith sculpture “Woman with Arm Raised” and Gabrielle Dumontet’s “Head of Medusa.” The museum is set to open the Jane and Arthur StierenCenter for Exhibition doors again in June with five exhibitions.
2. Witte Museum
3801 Broadway
(210) 357-1900
wittemuseum.org
3. San Antonio Museum of Art
200 W. Jones Ave.
(210) 9778-8100
samuseum.org
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Most Fun Official Fiesta Event
NIOSA
5:30-10:30pm, April 22-25, 2008
niosa.org
NIOSA officially turns 60 this year, and while the Battle of Flowers Parade may have given birth to Fiesta, this San Antonio Conservation Society fundraiser can take credit for its popularity and endurance. Long, hot parades must be followed by long, steamy parties to endure in this age of multiple distractions. A hundred-thousand of your fellow San Antonians crowd into charming, cobblestoned La Villita each year, causing us to baptise the event Most Likely Place to be Crushed by a Crowd Outside of a European Soccer Stadium. But if you pinball around long enough, you’ll see everyone you know, and you might even stumble into food, drink, and live music.
2. King William Fair
April 26, 2008
Kwfair.org
3. Oyster Bake
April 18-19, 2008 (Damn! Plan ahead for next year.)
oysterbake.com
