That noise? Ah, that’s just the Current’s main-squeeze food critic, Ron Bechtol, pushing tiny cocktail forks into an effigy of me, your faithful A-B scribe, who unwisely promised to try to publish his epic Canary Islands culinary adventure ahead of the New World Wine & Food Festival, taking place this week at venues around town ( for all the juicy details, including the Current-sponsored Cultural Cocktail at Metro Thursday evening. $50 advance; $75 door. C U There!) But A-B is wildly behind on restaurant and bar reviews (stacked like cordwood in our inbox). So for the moment we offer instead this column in which we plug food and drink from the North African archipelago whose Spanish conquistador descendants are credited with founding San Antonio. That cuisine gets a starring role at a NWWFF Biga on the Banks dinner prepared by Bruce Auden and a Canary Islander guest chef, 7pm Thursday. The $125 entry is all-inclusive. Call (210) 225-0722 for reservations.

Enjoy the culture this week, and read about Ron’s trip to the isles in our special Thanksgiving issue — on the streets November 25. And ... what’s that? A mini bonfire and stake? Really, Ron, you go too faaaaaaahhhh.

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