That's A Wrap

Once in a great while, there comes a film that causes folks to invoke the severely hackneyed "Once in a great while, there comes a film ... " joke construction. Snakes on a Plane:You're gonna see it. Need more motivation? Check out a bootlegged sneak peek at the in-progress script (real? Who knows?) for the sequel (page 23) or see Sacurrent.com for a rundown of the best roles in which ass is, by Mr. L. Jackson, ably and prodigiously kicked.

Neil Burger's The Illusionist has Edward Norton setting his hocus-pocus focus on winning Jessica Biel from Rufus Sewell - and reportedly packs a dilly of an ending (web-exclusive review at Sacurrent.com). Let's see: psycho (twice), neo-Nazi, leper king, delusional cowboywannabe, magician, detective with Tourette's (upcoming) ... next for Norton, how about a narcoleptic mime with a club foot? Here, Oscar, Oscar ...

Those who recognize Justin Long know him as the dude from Jeepers Creepers or Waiting..., or as the hooded-sweater-sporting "Mac" from recent Apple commercials. After the lackluster (if occasionally giggleworthy) "we-made-up-a-college" flick Accepted hits this Friday, nothing will likely have changed. Ah, well. His time will come.

The best thing about the end of summer? You can practically smell the indie gems (and acceptable indie-gem aspirants) lurking around the corner. And sometimes, they come a little early. To wit: Little Miss Sunshine. Come for Steve Carell; stay for Alan Arkin, the girl from Signs, and one heckuva punchline ending.

Hilary and Haylie Duff (oy) play spoiled heiresses trying to learn self-sufficiency in Material Girls. The Duff sisters as the Hilton sisters ... hmm ... what absurdist level of the Inferno is that, again? (Wanna puke more? It's produced by Madonna's Maverick Pictures, and by the girls' mother, Susan Duff.)

When was the last time you caught a good soccer documentary? Exactly. Once in a Lifetime chronicles the rise and fall of the New York Cosmos, a cobbled-together dream team that featured a past-hisprime Pelé, won five "Soccer Bowls," and partied like rock stars. Sorta makes you wanna break out the knee-socks and Rec- Specs, huh?

Smile. May all your planes be snakeless.

Local premiere dates for limited-release films are tentative and can change at the last minute. Please check your local theater listings to confirm showtimes.