San Antonio to Become Pop Music Holy Land in September, Hosting 5SOS, Maroon 5, Nick Jonas and Demi Lovato

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click to enlarge "Sex god" Adam Levine never fails to disappoint. - COURTESY
"Sex god" Adam Levine never fails to disappoint.

Saturday, September 3
Maroon 5

Finding a vibrator in your mom's panty drawer is the equivalent to finding a Maroon 5 CD in your Grandma's car. Imagining your sweet ol' granny getting down to the seedy-but-catchy jams, courtesy of sleazy hunk Adam Levine, is disturbing enough. However, knowing that she probably has a poster of his toned, bronzed body hidden in her closet borders on chill-inducing.

The vampire of a man who hasn't aged since breakout soft-rock classic "She Will Be Loved," will always be relevant, so expect a 90-year-old Levine to churn out some cheesy pop song about steamy hookups on his deathbed and making it to number one on the charts without (heart) failure.

Ticket prices range from $30.50 - $126 and the show starts at 7:30pm.

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