Critic's Pick Release Date: 2010-05-26

Do you feel sexier this week, just living here, despite (maybe because of?) the way your clothes will cling to the most ample of your body parts for the next five months?

It’s not, of course, the weather. It’s not the roasted jalapeños on your torta. It’s not (though it pains me to break it to the NYT) our Mayor.

Kids, it’s the impending arrival of nigh 1,000 inked, coiffed, and well-balanced scooter riders for this year’s AmeriVespa conference which, thanks to the efforts of SA’s two-wheel bombshell Dawn Brooks, will be cruising the River Walk, the Hill Country, and (sans Pee-wee L) the Alamo.

No ride? Consider showing up to one of the many events where a scooter will be auctioned off, beginning with the screening of Roman Holiday at El Tropicano, the official AmeriVespa 2010 hotel, on Thursday evening.

While her pals are in town, Brooks plans to introduce them to the visceral pleasures of lucha libre (“they’re like Latin movie idols”), to the showmanship of the Jotos, to District 5 Councilman David Medina (?!), who will present a special proclamation to the riders at the cradle of Texas liberty, and tour them through the city’s finest locally owned ice houses and hangouts, including La Tuna, Saluté, and the Mix.

“I not only wanted the rest of the country to see this great scootering town, but also to show off that Texas is filled with a very cosmopolitan group of people who don’t just ride SUVs and indulge in eating and drinking lots of food,” Brooks said. (If you say so … ) And she wanted to introduce SA to an alternative fuel lifestyle. “We have a Mayor who has presented us with a green initiative, and this group of people has been following a green initiative for years. Most of the time you can fill up your scooter for $4 and ride for a couple-hundred miles on it.”

Still haven’t texted your friends to reschedule your weekend? Consider this excerpt from our conversation with Brooks, who owns three scooters:

Has riding scooters been good for your dating life? Are you kidding me? A few years ago I found this ad in a magazine that had a woman in the foreground lounging, and in front of her was a line of gorgeous men on vintage Vespas on a street in Italy. And when I looked closer at it, it was the same five or seven men just Photoshopped. And I was like, that’s going on my wish board.

That could go either way. Are there just seven gorgeous scooter guys? Or different ones in every town. Scooter boys are the best. I’ve had a blast.

AmeriVespa 2010 will take place at various locations in SA and the surrounding Hill Country, May 27-31. Register for rides and get full (including pedestrian) event info at — Elaine Wolff

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