Lunchtime Links: American Women's Lifespan Decreasing, The Eight Craziest Things Ted Cruz Said Today, 18 Timely Halloween Costumes, Casting News for Fargo's TV Adaptation, A&M Students Make Living off Writing Dinosaur Porn + More

1.  Comedian pranks TED Talks, giving its best speech ever "Hyde showed up wearing gold toy body armor, and his speech—which apparently nobody organizing the event even attempted to stop—was peppered with irritating TED buzzwords. Things like, “What inspires me is teaching African refugees how to program JavaScript,” “How are we going to get clean drinking water to two billion Chinese people?” and “Most of our major cities will be replaced with wealthy pleasure-domes.” (Death and Taxes)

2. GAME: Ikea or Death "IKEA is that friendly shop where you get cheap furniture from the inside of a giant, unending warehouse. Black metal is the kind of music that sounds like someone screaming while trapped inside a burning church. They each possess a fervent fan base. And to tell you the truth, the names of the furniture in IKEA sound a lot like the names of black metal bands. Consider this quiz an educational way to learn the difference between the two."

3. The Eight Craziest Things Ted Cruz Said Today "On Obama’s plot to kidnap him: “So this afternoon President Obama has invited the Senate Republicans to the White House. So after leaving here, I’m going to be going to the White House. I will make a request. if I’m never seen again, please send a search and rescue team. I very much hope by tomorrow morning I don’t wake up amidst the Syrian rebels.” (Think Progress)

4. 18 Timely Halloween Costumes For 2013 Wendy Davis, Ikea Monkey, Orange is the New Black, Sharknado...(Buzzfeed)

5. Bob Odenkirk Joins the Cast of FX's 'Fargo' "FX also announced today that Glenn Howerton, Oliver Platt, and Kate Walsh are playing recurring roles on Fargo, as well. Starring Billy Bob Thornton, Martin Freeman, and Colin Hanks, the 10-episode limited series is set to debut on FX in the spring of 2014." (Splitsider)

6. Q&A: Two students from A&M make a living writing dinosaur porn "Alara Branwen and Christie Sims met in the dorms at Texas A&M. Alara worked at a supermarket and Christie worked as a tutor — until they discovered how lucrative erotic fiction about women having sex with dinosaurs could be." (New York)

7. U.S. government sues Texas RV park for alleged discrimination against transgender woman "On behalf of the federal government, U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder has filed a lawsuit against a Texas recreational vehicle park for alleged discrimination against a transgender woman." (Houston Chronicle)

8. San Antonio to spend nearly $7 million to improve safety in the Medical Center "San Antonio’s City Council approved on Thursday spending $6.6 million in public funds to improve street and pedestrian safety in the Medical Center, which has a heavy concentration of patients and workers, as well as vehicular traffic." (SABJ)

9. VIDEO: Because Shep: Fox News Deck - Colbert Info News Veranda For teh lulz.

10. New Study: American Women Are Dying Younger Than Their Moms "According to recent studies, the life span for women has decreased over the last two decades, with women today expected to have a much shorter life span than their mothers, The Atlantic reported." (Alternet)

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