Rehash: the case of the tattle-monitors

Rehash: the case of the tattle-monitors Posted by Ashley Lindstrom at 5:45 PM, 05.29.2007

So, from time to time I read something totally fabulous on someone else's blog that I feel Current readers should know ... and I want to tell you in Chisme, I do ... but, is that cheating? Well forget about it, because today I have created "Rehash," the sole purpose of which being to tell you about things I've read in other entertainment-related blogs.

What inspired this newfound audacity, this need to throw caution to the wind and just, well, rehash? Something I read this afternoon in my very favorite blog, The Hater, on the A.V. Club's website. It's to do with an issue that is dear to my film-loving heart: disruption in movie theaters. In today's post, Hate-master Amelie Gillette refers us to a USA Today article headlined "Select moviegoers get tattletale tool."

Apparently, the Regal Entertainment Group will be increasing its use of wireless devices given to selected patrons that enable them to notify theater management of various problems. (The Regal Guest Response System" will be utilized in 114 Regal theaters, up from 13.) The image of the device clearly displays buttons for "video," "sound," "piracy," and "other disturbance."

I agree with Amelie on two counts: 1) I doubt it if piracy is going to ruin anyone's movie-going experience, and 2) it probably will only be "slightly less annoying than having the guy next to you text throughout the entire movie." (I hate that.)

Yes, the idea of staying in my seat whilst alerting management to picture or sound problems certainly sounds alluring (that way I don't have to miss any of the muted film!), but the "other disturbance" catch-all button seems pretty worthless.

(Plus, who's to say the "bad" patrons won't end up being the ones with the guest-response power? I see response-wars on the horizon! `"You talked!" "No, you talked!"`)

I for one do not yet have the strength to approach someone about escorting her/his/their screaming ankle-biter from the theater (I just mumble and write about it later.) Where's the "Shut up, kid" button? Where's the "I've asked but this person still won't stop blabbing/kicking my seat/having noisy sex behind me and there's nowhere else to sit" button. Why not just give everyone a tattle-monitor, so we (I) don't have to resort to Mace? (Not that pepper spray is going to shut anyone up, but at least we'll feel better, right?) A foam baseball bat, perhaps?
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