The Menzoda Line: TV judges latest to refuse to hear Texas AG Ken Paxton’s election lawsuit

click to enlarge Judy Sheindlin, host of Judge Judy, is among the TV reality show jurists to slam the door in an increasingly desperate Ken Paxton's face. - Twitter / @JudgeJudy
Twitter / @JudgeJudy
Judy Sheindlin, host of Judge Judy, is among the TV reality show jurists to slam the door in an increasingly desperate Ken Paxton's face.
We understand that in the current political environment it can be really tough to tell the difference between real news stories and satire, which is precisely why we're letting you know that the Mendoza Line is a weekly work of satire.

Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton faced more courtroom rejection this week while desperately shopping for a new venue for his lawsuit against the states of Michigan, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin and Georgia.

After the U.S. Supreme Court on Friday declined to hear the Republican AG’s long-shot suit seeking to overturn November’s presidential election, Paxton turned to courtroom TV reality shows in hopes someone will hear the case. So far, Judge Judy, Judge Mathis and the producers of The People’s Court and Hot Bench all refused to meet with the embattled AG.

“Since the Supreme Court refuses to hear the case, much less issue a ruling that conforms to President Trump’s claims, we’re appealing to the court of public opinion,” Paxton said. “The president is tired of getting beat every time he turns around. Since he’s a reality TV star, I figured other reality TV stars may take pity on him. Boy, was I wrong.”

Even so, at least one TV jurist did agree to a meeting.

“I did get to meet with Gary Busey, host of Gary Busey: Pet Judge, but I might as well have been talking to [Texas GOP Chairman] Allen West,” Paxton said. “He didn’t make a lick of sense.”

TV industry insiders say reality show producers are unlikely to take a ratings risk on Paxton, who’s so unpopular he could only win his last election with 50.6% of the vote — despite Texas not having elected a Democrat to statewide office since 1994.

“I don’t think this Paxton character understands the meaning of the word REALITY, as in REALITY TELEVISION,” said Judy Sheindlin, host of Judge Judy, in an emailed statement. “What he’s talking about is pure fantasy. He thinks those votes shouldn’t count? What an imbecile.”

Others questioned what Paxton, who’s both under indictment for securities fraud and facing an FBI bribery investigation, is really after.

“I don’t know why the attorney general is trying so hard,” said People’s Court arbiter, retired Florida State Circuit Judge Marilyn Milian. “I’m sure the pardon he was angling for from Trump is already in the works. What more could he want? Does he need an alibi for the night Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide or something?”

When pressed to answer Milian’s question, Paxton said he was not involved in the suicide. Rather, he was tasked to bribe longtime Epstein associate Ghislaine Maxwell to convince her to sign a nondisclosure agreement.

“It clearly didn’t work,” Paxton said. “When the president said he needed a ‘bribe guy’ I didn’t realize I would not be on the receiving end. I was out of my element.”

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