Imagine the hue of the Queque’s flattered blush when we logged on to MySpace Saturday morning to discover a friend request from THE Rick Moody, author of The Ice Storm. Now imagine the even deeper shade of red, a manifestation of our pure fury, when a friend of the Queque directed us to Express-News columnist Ken “K-Rod” Rodriguez’s latest attempts to rain on everyone’s social-networking parade.
K-Rod’s recent columns have consisted of cut-pasted references to drunken partying he’s found on the MySpace profiles of UTSA education majors, yet another excuse to shriek about the future of our children.
But is the E-N any better? The Queque did a quick search. One columnist describes himself on his MySpace page thusly: “I am such a Dungeons & Dragons slut it is not even funny.” Another reporter pontificates, “Good things come to those who dance (while drunk on wine and 80s pop).” Oh my. How would the Good Christian Parents of San Antonio react if they knew their morning news was authored by 10th-level mages who knock back Sutter Home while hip-wagging to Kajagoogoo? C’mon K-Rod, is it so scandalous that people have fun?
The Queque suspects K-Rod’s crying for help. K-Rod’s Myspace.com/krod777 hasn’t any MySpace friends aside from “Tom.” Not even the E-N’s new faux-weekly 210SA has accepted his profile. (Incidentally, their page is Myspace.com/210_SA, because a 14-year-old named MiKe already nabbed Myspace.com/210sa. According to MiKe, “THE HARDEST THING TO SEE IS THE ONE U LUV LUV ANOTHER.” True dat.)
K-Rod isn’t the only malevolent force lurking on MySpace. In September, the Texas District and County Attorneys Association’s annual conference featured a seminar on using MySpace in criminal investigations. Months later, justice blogger Scott Henson (Gritsforbreakfast.blogspot.com) exposed a forum (Tdcaa.infopop.net) where Texas prosecutors traded techniques for busting minors for misdemeanors using MySpace. The lesson today, kids: Don’t blog about your peccadilloes and don’t accept anonymous buddy requests. It could be a pedophile. Or it could be Hale County Attorney Jim Tirey (Myspace.com/98083003) or Houston prosecutor “Gretchen” (Myspace.com/uhlaw2000).
Does anyone else remember WOAI’s investigation last November that caught City utility workers napping on the job? Considering that, it is to the Queque’s great amusement that last week the City Council approved a $138,000 contract for Gatorade powder (in official-ese “electrolyte replacement drink mix”). It is also to the Queque’s great embarassment that for once we found ourselves on the same side as terminal Christian-right lunatic Jack Finger when, between tirades on the sexual orientation of Esperanza Center executive director Graciela Sánchez, he asked at the public-comment podium, “What’s wrong with ice water?”
The council also approved the date for the general and bond elections — May 12 — marking the second San Antonio election in a row to fall on a religious holiday. First there was Governor Rick Perry’s assignment of the Bonilla-Rodriguez run-off, held on El Día de la Virgen de Guadalupe. And this City election will be held on a Saturday. Could this be a move to suppress the Orthodox Jewish vote? Rabbinical experts say the Torah bans the use of electronic equipment on the Sabbath, but there’s nothing banning Jews from enlisting goyem to do their touch-screen dirty work for them. Of course, they still need to fear Attorney General Greg Abbott, whose peek-a-boo voter-fraud squad will bust even the most benevolent menches for voter manipulation, as evidenced by a series of indictments against Democrat campaign workers during the 2006
Last week also marked the launch of R.G. Griffing’s mayoral campaign. He’s editor and publisher of our favorite local conservative news site, Sanantoniolightning.com. A few weeks back, Griffing rang the Queque to complain that the Express-News won’t carry his advertisements ($14,000-worth according to his campaign website Rggriffing.com). According to Griffing it’s because he once said “don’t believe what you read in the Express-News.” The E-N didn’t return our calls. If we were talking broadcast instead of print media, they’d find themselves under FCC scrutiny because it certainly smells like corporate influence affecting content. Of course, as much as we sympathize with Griffing, we’ve yet to see him place an ad in our fine rag. l
Send news tips to [email protected]