The QueQue

Stop! Hang up that phone!

We know what you were thinking, and it’s too late.

Queque knows you want to lend a hand to the new private-sector Karl Rove, who leaves his slavish service to W at the end of this month, as much as lil’ Queque does. But the official Bush’s Brain riverfront cabins outside Ingram are no longer for rent.

Queque called River Oaks Lodge ourselves, thinking that if we rented Rove’s bankside bungalows until, say 2009, we’d not only help out un compadre in need but maybe also keep him out of any future voting scandals. Rove and wife claimed the property as their permanent residence last election — to the chagrin of some area residents. Kerr County Attorney Rex Emerson charitably let the couple slip the noose claiming insufficient evidence.

Lodge Manager Krista said she’d have “somebody” call us. We’re hoping for Darby Rove, director of Estadio Partners (LLC, of course).

Who knows? Considering Rove is threatening to write a book, perhaps they sold the cabins for capital. Hard time being out of work.

Sergeant rocked

We feel for ‘Sarge,’ too, who is not only out of work but sweatin’ it in lock-up after supposedly dragging some whiner of a delinquent behind a Love Demonstrated Ministries truck till her limbs resembled ground chuck. Seems the waif couldn’t keep up during exercises at the morals-strengthening Nueces County reformatory.

You recall it was Sarge, aka Charles Flowers, who brought dozens of his camo’d-out young charges to back up Christian shock-jock Adam McManus at his August 2 City Council protest of the Police Chief’s institution of gay-sensitivity training among the troops. Well, now this pillar of Christian wisdom and discipline is facing aggravated assault of a minor and $100,000 bond.

Faith Outreach Center International, where Flowers is a senior pastor, chose not to chitchat with Queque about the matter.

Calling Jim Garrison

When some distant historians finally reconcile the conspiracy-laden decades between J. Edgar Hoover’s ascension and Karl Rove’s denouement, will any scribe do justice to the Great Pushcart Scandal of 2007, which played out July 28 on the well-worn slopes of Dignowity Hill’s historic patch of greenery just east of downtown? If we could just get our hands on Jimmy Mendiola’s equivalent of the Zapruder film: footage of the final showdown, rumored to show that El Lil General y Familia did not jump the starter flag, making the re-race, in which Juan Ramos et al. were declared victorious, a sham.

“I have a photo taken right at the start, and you can see that we were the first one off the finish line and you can see the flag at Bunnyphonic’s feet,” says photographer Justin Parr, who caucuses with the rest of the General gang at the one9zero6 HQ.

Derby grand poobah Cruz Ortiz is philosophical about the dust-up. “There’s all kinds of scandals that happened this year,” he says, even though for the first time they had official officials. Ortiz says Mendiola, back in L.A., second-guessed the refs in a cross-country phone call. “He says, ‘Man, it looks like they played it right, they just got out of the line fast.’ But he loves chisme, especially San Antonio-style.” So does the Queque, Jimmy. Send us the footage; we’ll be your Oliver Stone.

Crack-er-jack ministry

And if you’re an out-of-luck artist, run over like so much racetrack dirt by a system indifferent to your special needs (say, bail money), gadfly Gene Elder may be your Atticus Finch. Elder put criminal-defense attorney Rusty Guyer on the trail of Reverend Seymour Perkins — the Eastside painter whose yard installation tweaks authorities — who’d been in the hoosegow, sans represenation, since roundabout Independence Day.

Perhaps “tweak” is a poor word choice. The 77-year-old art legend was arrested for cocaine possession. The amount of smack allegedly found in Perkins’s house makes him eligible for a 3rd-degree felony and 2-10 years as the government’s guest, but Guyer is optimistic. “He ministers to prostitutes and councils them,” says Rusty. “He doesn’t have a history of drug use and has no prior convictions. It looks promising for him.”


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