Switch to the mobile version of this page.

San Antonio Current

        
Tweet

Email

Print
Share

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

11 Potential Names for Kim and Kanye's Next Baby

Posted By Travis Buffkin on Wed, Dec 9, 2015 at 12:12 PM

click to enlarge

"Is this is how you make a baby?" - YOUTUBE

Youtube
"Is this is how you make a baby?"

In celebration of the new love angel music baby gracing us lowly, cultureless swine with its regal presence, I have composed a list of potential names for any future Kardashian-West offspring, should they see fit to honor us with another liege from their loins. Luckily, they're already working with North West and Stain West so the bar is set fairly low. JK, it's Saint West, but is that really much better?

Bruce - To honor what has come before, it's the phenomenon of the Phoenix wrapped up in a strong, masculine name.

Ray J - It's only fitting that Kim and Kanye honor the man who helped launch Kim's career as a Pretty Lady.

Amelia - Because it's pretty.

Michael Jackson - Michael Jackson West just has a nice ring to it. Plus, it's fucking believable.

The King and the Yeezus unite ... in one baby. That sounds very bad. - YOUTUBE

Youtube
The King and the Yeezus unite ... in one baby. That sounds very bad.

Donda - Because it was Kanye's mother's name and it's sad as shit that she died just as her son was beginning to make all of his family's dreams come true, and it'd be a beautiful tribute. That's called insight, people.

Whatever the coinciding Yeezy record is called - That's just smart marketing. The record drops when the baby drops.

# - Remember that this started here. #west

Kawhi - Kawhi not?

click to enlarge

Courtesy
Really, Kawhi not?

Jay-Z - The obvious next step for the greatest rapper alive is to remain the greatest rapper alive ... forever! if the Illuminati don't have access to the Fountain of Youth by the time Jay-Z is an old-timer, the name still lives on. Kanye is going to be collecting the money on Jay-Z the younger's lucrative endorsements and branding 'til he's legal anyway, a fair trade for a hearty tipping of the hat. Plus, if Jay-Z and Yoncé return the favor, we get another Kanye! #jayzwest #kanyecarter

Metallica (or Metallica With Cliff Burton, if they want to keep it legit) - That, in the music industry, is called diversification; cross-promotion; stayin' on the grind.

Wikipedia
It should have been Lars.

Martin Luther King - If you're comfortable referring to yourself as the Messiah, wouldn't this actually be a step toward humility?

Whatever the name, as long as the happy couple keep providing us, their rapt audience, with children born into staggering wealth and the claustrophobia that is Life Under the Global Gaze, what more could we possibly want?

Tags: Kanye West, Kim Kardashian, Metallica, Michael Jackson, Bruce Jenner, Cliff Burton, Kawhi Leonard, Jay-Z, Ray J, Image, Video

San Antonio Current works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of San Antonio and beyond.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep San Antonio's true free press free.