Whether you partied too hardy down the St. Mary's Strip the night before or just love the salty, often briny cure-alls found in bloody marys and beer-filled micheladas, don't skip this list. Even better are the crowned jewels or accoutrements atop said beverages that make for a fun appetizer or snack before you dig into your go-to breakfast taco cure. Below are the some of the five craziest bloodies and micheladas in SA, with varying degrees of oomph.
1. Bite Restaurant
1012 S. Presa St., (210) 532-2551, biterestaurantsa.com
Oh, Southtown. You never let us down. And certainly choices abound — there's a solid michelada around every bend, from The Monterey to Liberty Bar and then some. But at the corner of Presa and Eager Street you'll find Lisa Astorga-Watel's Bite Restaurant, an impish little eatery that has packed in big, whimsical flavors since its opening in late 2012. With no more than maybe 35 seats total, Bite's made a name for itself with it's laid-back brunch and over-the-top breakfast cocktails.
The mimosa, complete with a cookie-, marshmallow- and gummy-stacked skewer is a favorite for brunchers with a sweet molar, but if you're looking for that salty cure, opt for the house bloody mary. Sure, the option to stack your own bloody is available on Saturdays and Sundays, but have some trust in your bartender's skills. The tomato juice base is light and spicy, and this ornate bloody is finished off with Reyka Icelandic vodka. On weekends, the barkeep spends an hour and a half prepping the fixins for this drink-turned-appetizer that are then displayed from a pineapple top. Our most recent visit included a cucumber slice, cube of Swiss cheese, cured Lil' Smoky, wee gerkin, chubby olive, thin pepperoni slice, fresh snap pea and a single Day-Glo orange cheese ball.
But wait — there's more. A fresh celery stick, pretzel rod and a few strands of cucumber shavings are the finishing touches to this Mason jar drink that'll stave off that hangover for just a little longer. Brunch runs 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. every Saturday and Sunday.
2. My Friend's Backyard Sports Bar
442 W. Hildebrand Ave., (210) 573-5227
Just two years ago, Bar Central was an ... interesting establishment. Entry for males wasn't available without a patdown, and a dress code kept people somewhat in check. But that was before a massive makeover by the same owners turned the nightclub into an urban oasis that welcomes chill folks in for a fun time.
Changes primarily included the addition of a giant wrap-around patio that looks onto Hildebrand, which features pallet furniture, outdoor games like giant Jenga and larger-than-life beer pong, several swings and a basketball hoop. Though major changes weren't necessarily made to the inside of the bar — the corner shower/water feature still stands proudly, and bright neons still hang — but the lights are turned on bright and the bar setup has added a few Saytown favorite flavors to beef up its cocktail selection.
Don't go in expecting a Manhattan, by any means. Instead, bartenders at My Friend's Backyard Sports Bar are adding tamarindo goodies, pickles and even chamoy, to the offerings.
Take for instance the signature drink, known as both La Loca and 'Ta Loca, probably because it takes a certain level of nuttiness to order one. Passionately hot pink and rimmed with chili powder, the Franken-cocktail switches out any sort of tomato and packs in a tart-salty explosion with sour mix and watermelon Pucker, vodka and a healthy dose of chamoy found both at the bottom of the fishbowl and along its rim, with chili powder, obviously. Ask for the michelada version with tamarindo candy and dill pickle and head to the back patio.
The patio is your playground, but the bartenders get their game on inside with adult-variations on raspa classics.
3. Smoke: The Restaurant
700 E. Sonterra Blvd., (210) 474-0175, smoketherestaurant.com
Stone Oak found itself a winner in Smoke: The Restaurant. Opened by Adrian Martinez and Javier Sandoval of the China Garden empire, and chef Brian West (an Art Institute of Houston alum and 20-year veteran of the culinary industry), the eatery's making strides in satiating the area's hunger for beefy, smoky 'cue.
This obviously extends into the cocktails where bar manager Jeff Reinsfelder knew a puny bloody mary wasn't going to cut it for the Loopland fans. Sure, a regular bloody is available, but if guests are feeling extra carnivorous and thirsty, they can look to the "Extra Bloody," a bigger, badder, gasp-worthy cocktail.
Available only for Sunday Brunch, where you can pair it with chef's "Philthy Little Benedict," the Extra Bloody packs in more vodka, more tomato mix (a signature blend creator Matt Dulaney isn't too keen on sharing), pickled shrimp, a Dr. Pepper pork rib, house sausage and a slice of brisket. The bar makes use of chef's pickled stock of veggies — a combination of jalapeño and cherry tomatoes was a recent favorite — but drinkers may also find beets and carrots. Over-the-top? Yes, but we're not complaining.
"The biggest looks we get are from people who see it go through the restaurant," Dulaney said. Barbecue, booze and a blend of the two — turns out everything really is bigger in Texas.
4. Mariscos El Bucanero
Multiple locations, elbucanerosa.com
Though Spielberg's Jaws (which turned 40 this summer) may have terrified us enough to keep us out of the ocean, we can't deny a penchant for seafood and all the crustaceans that can be found along with it.
That being said, the michelada Bucanera at Mariscos El Bucanero sends chills down our spine in the most enticing of ways. Found at both locations — the faux-original at 16505 Blanco Rd. (the first was off South W.W. White Rd.) and the latest location at 13802 Embassy Rd. — the drink isn't for the faint of heart. If anything, the michelada Bucanera is for those in the mood for a botanita.
Once you grab a table inside the "Under The Sea"-themed joint — wait times are longer during prime times, so plan accordingly — you'll want to dabble in other frozen cocktails. But if you're hungry for more, stick with the michelada.
The massive fishbowl that arrives at the table is daunting enough without the ring of shrimp and cucumber slices that surround it, along with two juicy lime slices. Inside the goblet is a tomato juice akin to V8 or Clamato, with an extra dose of lime and the piece de résistance, your beer of choice. Go with Mexican cerverzas, of course, as El Buc's selection includes everything from Dos Equis and Modelo Especial to darker, richer Bohemia. Served upside down in Dos-a-rita fashion, the drink requires some patience.
Take your time with it and snack on the cold tail-on shrimp and cucumbers with chile as you slowly release more of the brewski into your beverage. It's time well spent and it'll help you forget that pesky Bruce.
5. Lüke / On The Rocks
125 E. Houston St., (210) 227-5853, lukesanantonio.com
270 Losoya St., (210) 228-0000, ontherockspubsatx.com
If you're heading downtown for a bloody mary, we can suggest two versions: the tub-size take from Lüke San Antonio and the laid-back, mini appetizer-turned-michelada at On The Rocks (pictured above).
The mantra at Lüke San Antonio is local, so it stands to reason that the cocktails would ascribe to that concept, too. The Rebecca Creek bloody mary with an Alamo Golden Ale Chaser couldn't be more San Antonio if it tried. The party starts with a dose of lime and Enchanted Rock ultra-premium vodka made using a copper still off Bulverde Road. Follow that with a dash of horseradish and a helping of Zing Zang's. Bartenders go to work topping the 28-ounce beverage with a skewer of house-pickled veggies. The lineup changes often, and according to season, but a recent visit included wee onions, pickles, carrots, green beans and olives. And because Lüke knows seafood, drinkers will also find two hefty Gulf shrimp.
At On The Rocks, the list of secret ingredients used for their house tomato sauce is kept under wraps and used for both bloodies and micheladas. Go for the latter, and ask for any beer specials. Our visit included a spicy Chili Devil Mexican beer that helped tie the michelada together with more heat. Rimmed with chili powder and kosher salt, the drink comes equipped with a short skewer and filled with a small charcuterie board's-worth of meats, cheeses, olives and pickles. Toppings vary, but you'll be set with a quick snack, whether you're getting the party started for the evening or coming down from the night before.
Bloody Accessories
Pump up your bloody or michelada game with spices from Oak & Salt Quality Goods shop (opening this fall on the West Side, but also available at oakandsalt.com), Jeannie's Party Poison and Twang's greatest hits.
1. Spiceologist's Rasta Rub Jamaican Jerk, $11, Oak & Salt Quality Goods
2. Amola's Molten Hot Salt, $10, Oak & Salt Quality Goods
3. Twang Beer Salt Lime & Hot Lime, less than $2, your nearest H-E-B, Corner Store or Valero
4. Jeannie's Party Poison, Chilosa Michelada & Bloody Mary Mix, $20, facebook.com/JeanniesDrinkMixes
5. Bourbon Barrel Red Clay Southern Hot Sauce, $8, Oak & Salt Quality Goods
6. Harissa Entube Chili Paste, $7.50, Oak & Salt Quality Goods
7. Amola's Bacon Salt, $10, Oak & Salt Quality Goods
8. Bourbon Barrel Aged Worcestershire Sauce, $7, Oak & Salt Quality Goods
