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10 Things You Have to Do This Weekend 

Thu 12/5 Everything Is Terrible! Holiday Special: “A New Beginning” EIT!

EIT! HOLIDAY TOUR 2013! from Everything Is Terrible! on Vimeo.

Chicago-based video blogging website Everything Is Terrible! ("world famous psychedelic soldiers of found footage") lands in SA with an abominable video collage celebrating “everyone’s least favorite time of the year.” In addition to “a millennium’s worth of VHS memories of misplaced sentimentalities, fist fights over toys for tots, erotic Santas, Nazi elves, and an endless parade of singing kids,” EIT! promises to convert the Hi-Tones stage into the tackiest winter wonderland imaginable with all the trimmings—puppets, sing-a-longs, fake snow and a visit from the big man himself. $5, 10pm Thursday, Hi-Tones, 621 E Dewey, (210) 785-8777, —Bryan Rindfuss Thu 12/5 – Fri 12/6 "Paintings for a Razed Hotel" Ed Saavedra Local art scenesters are perhaps more likely to recognize Ed Saavedra as the “senior creative co-conspirator” at Fl!ght Gallery than for his own artwork—which spans from drawings and assemblages to “occasional performance outbursts.” In a review of his exhibition “Things Have Gone to Pieces,” Art Lies noted Saavedra’s “mastery for creating levels of meaning beyond immediately appealing craftsmanship.” The Houston native’s first local solo show since “Requiem for an English Major” (which referenced both Thomas Gainsborough’s painting The Blue Boy and Harlan McVea’s suicide in Bexar County Jail), “Paintings for a Razed Hotel” comprises works created over the past few weeks. According to Saavedra, the project isn’t about a specific property but “the proverbial razed hotel.” Free, 7-10pm Thursday-Friday, Hello Studio, 1420 S Alamo, (210) 291-8640, —BR Fri 12/6 Black Violin Black Violin_1_byColinBrennan_1 Boasting a résumé that includes both Bonnaroo and Obama’s inaugural ball, Black Violin can no longer claim to be “the biggest independent group that no one has ever heard of.” Formed by violist/vocalist Wilner “Wil B” Baptiste and violinist Kevin “Kev Marcus” Sylvester, the Florida duo crafts a signature hybrid of hip-hop, rock, R&B, bluegrass and classical music. With only two albums—a self-titled 2007 debut and 2012’s Classically Trained—Baptiste and Sylvester have also emerged as in-demand collaborators, working with the likes of Alicia Keys, P. Diddy, Kanye West, Aerosmith and Aretha Franklin. In addition to playing 200 shows per year with their support band—turntablist DJTK, drummer Beatdown and cellist Joe Cello—Black Violin performs at schools, encouraging kids to think creatively while stressing the importance of arts education. $35, 8pm Friday, Jo Long Theatre, 226 N Hackberry, (210) 207-2234, —BR Fri 12/6 Natalia Lafourcade Natalia-Lafourcade Mexico’s Natalia Lafourcade is one of the most talented singer-songwriters in the Latin alternative music world, and she comes to San Antonio days after winning two Latin Grammy awards (making it a career total of three, though technically one goes to the director of the long-form video of "Mujer Bonita," her superb tribute to the music of Agustín Lara). She started as Natalia and La Forquetina (the name of her band), and then continued reinventing herself as a solo artist and producer of Carla Morrison, a two-time Latin Grammy winner herself. Lafourcade is a versatile performer who embodies the best of Latin alternative music: its ability to organically fuse regional sounds with rock and pop to achieve near-mainstream status without sacrificing integrity. $25, 9pm Friday, Club Rio, 13307-A San Pedro, (210) 403-2582, —Enrique Lopetegui Fri 12/6 Tom Waits Birthday Tribute Waits On December 7, Tom Waits will be 64 years old. To celebrate the occasion, who better than Cryin’ D.T. Buffkin & the Bad Breath to hit the stage at 10 p.m.? They’ll be followed at midnight by Mike Ryan Coyotes (fka Coyote Dreams, aka My Cryin’ Coyotes; “Cryin’” is this event’s key word) in an unlikely meeting of minds between two bands not exactly into this type of stuff. “Neither of our bands are ‘tribute’ bands and we both seem repelled by the trend towards cloning,” Ryan told the Current. “But because imitation is still the highest form of flatulence/flattery, we will be combining original compositions and many of Tom Waits’ ‘non-hits’ into this show.” Plus December 6 is the 4th anniversary of Roland Fuentes’ Nightrocker Live. It hasn’t been an easy ride, but it’s been well worth it. Here’s to many more years. $6, 10pm Friday, Nightrocker Live, 605 San Pedro, (210) 265-3573, —EL Fri 12/6 – Sun 12/8 A Christmas Story, The Musical A Christmas Story With a cultish appeal that rears its head annually in the form of a TBS marathon, it should come as no surprise that the 1983 box-office sleeper A Christmas Story has inspired multiple adaptations and a museum in Cleveland. Based on radio personality Jean Shepherd’s semi-autobiographical book In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash, the late Depression-era tale employs nine-year-old Ralphie’s quest to acquire a Red Ryder BB Gun as a thread to connect memorable scenes involving a frozen flagpole, a fishnet-clad leg lamp and a holiday meal of Chinese turkey. Not to be confused with Phillip Grecian’s play from 2000, the recent Broadway sensation A Christmas Story, The Musical makes its Texas debut at the Woodlawn—complete with Tony-nominated duo Pasek and Paul’s inevitable show tune “You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out.” $15-$23, 7:30pm Friday-Saturday, 3pm Sunday, Woodlawn Theatre, 1920 Fredericksburg, (210) 267-8388, —BR Sat 12/7 “50 / 250” WomenMenbyScottMartin copy An intriguing concept designed to “encourage the community to buy artwork during the holiday season,” Beacon Hill’s new French & Michigan Gallery’s exhibition “50 / 250” comprises 250 works by 50 artists currently or previously based in San Antonio, Austin or Houston. Although representing a wide variety of disciplines (including architecture, painting, ceramics, woodworking and printmaking) the selected artists were limited to submitting five works, all on 8-inch-by-8-inch paper—a connective thread allowing the assembled pieces to come together in a large grid on one wall. According to gallery director Billy Lambert, this limitation of medium and size inspired certain artists to “explore something new” or “reevaluate and refocus their techniques.” In keeping with the show’s shopping initiative, all works are priced at $250 and can be taken “immediately upon purchase.” Uniting a number of accomplished locals, the list of contributing artists includes the likes of Andy Benavides, Anne Wallace, Judith Cottrell, Louis Vega Treviño, Sarah Sudhoff and Scott Martin, whose night photograph Women Men is shown here. Free, 2-6pm Saturday, French & Michigan Gallery, 115 Michigan, (210) 378-0961, —BR Sat 12/7 Tamales! Holiday Festival Tamaeles flyer Tamales_1 With Thanksgiving behind us and Hanukkah wrapping up, it’s high time to unabashedly pull out all the stops for Christmas. Cut down a tree, put up your lights, bust out your tacky sweaters and most importantly: get yourself to the annual Tamales! Holiday Festival. For the fourth year in a row, a tamal extravaganza will overtake the grounds of the Pearl. This free, family- and pet-friendly event runs from noon to 6 p.m. on Saturday, December 7. Attendees will have the opportunity to sample tamales, paletas, drinks and other treats from more than 30 vendors. Prices range from $1 to $5. Roving performers will include Mariachi Sol de Tejas, Mariachi Fiesta de San Antonio, Capoeira Luanda and more. New additions to the lineup of professional tamal makers include Celorio, Barbacoa y Tortillas, Alfonso’s Tamales and Guacamaya Tamale Express. As always, parking is free in Koehler garage and around the grounds of the Pearl. A panel of judges will determine the winners of an amateur tamal-making competition on the afternoon of the festival. Shelley Grieshaber, the director of culinary operations at the Pearl and a former director of education at the Culinary Institute of America—San Antonio, reported that she received more than 200 entries to the contest, which awards $100 H-E-B gift cards to each of the semifinalists in three different categories: traditional pork, chicken and wildcard, which could contain anything from quail or duck confit to smoked brisket or a sweet filling. The final winners of each category will receive a prize of $1,000. The festival will take place along Pearl Parkway and on the east side of the property, including the lot in front of the Brewhouse as well as the area in front of Il Sogno and Green Vegetarian. “It’s really going to have a great flow this year,” said Grieshaber, “a nice footprint for people strolling along Pearl Parkway and a good outline for all our vendors.” Saturday’s farmers market will temporarily relocate to the large west lot in front of La Gloria. A few tips: Bring cash (small bills, unmarked if it makes you feel dangerous) for the easiest and quickest tamal transactions, carpool or ride your bike and above all—wear your stretchy pants. Free, noon-6pm Saturday, Pearl Brewery, 200 E Grayson, (210) 212-7260, —Miriam Sitz Sat 12/7 Flesh Lights SMK0215fleshlights03 Austin’s Flesh Lights are a band defined by the energy of their perpetual motion. Their most recent album, the aptly named Muscle Pop, is a teeming den of punk-rock iniquity, and it’s all the better for it. With a sound reminiscent of proto-punk garage-rockers like The Dictators or MC5, Flesh Lights melt faces and break hearts and are liable to surprise listeners who get a whiff of pop-punk only to be slammed with a righteously fuzzy guitar breakdown. Their live show, properly honed beneath the neons of Austin dives, is a gluttonously gritty, guttural and groovable affair. They’ll be joined on Saturday’s stacked bill by local notables the Rich Hands and Ghost Police, who play beautifully sneering garage-rock and noisy doom-surf respectively. It should be a memorable show, with plenty of aural heat for wasting the winter away. $5, 8pm Saturday, The Ten Eleven, 1011 Avenue B, (210) 320-9080, —James Courtney Sun 12/8 Kanye West Kanye West_1 Lady Gaga may be trying to shove “art pop” down our throats, but critics increasingly recognize Kanye West as the king of the avant-garde/radio top 40 hybrid. New York magazine’s art critic Jerry Saltz credited the rapper’s insane “Bound 2” video with creating “a collective cultural fracturing that I call the New Uncanny.” None other than the late Lou Reed reviewed West’s Yeezus, a deeply polarizing album that dropped this summer (“lookout, this guy is making connections,” wrote Reed about West’s ability to merge hip-hop with other “high art” pursuits). Now, reviews of his Yeezus Tour describe the effort as “an energetic, artistically ambitious and at times majestic ‘concept’ concert.” The spectacle includes cultish back-up dancers, a jeweled facemask, two mountains, White Jesus, snow and more. Take that, Gaga. Kendrick Lamar opens. $37.50-$97.50, 7pm Sunday, AT&T Center, One AT&T Center, (800) 745-3000, —Callie Enlow

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