The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle arcade game should’ve stayed in my second-grade memories, apparently. Turns out most of my recollections of the game center around fighting in real life over who got to be Michelangelo, and with good reason: The actual game is pretty crappy. You will probably remember this as a classic for the same reason you remember looking totally sweet in Superman pajamas with a towel around your neck: Little kids are idiots. The only way this would be fun these days is if you managed to round up a four-player game, but if you’re still that into the TMNT you don’t have three friends. Sierra’s 3D Ultra Minigolf is the better party-game buy. It’s not Cloning Clyde innovative, but its Outlaw Golf at putt-putt theme is at least fun beyond a 30-second nostalgia high. It’s impossible-in-real-life interactive holes and gravity changes are reminiscent of the great Fuzzy’s World of Miniature Space Golf and the online play and multiple-stroke styles (hehehe) make it worth the point investment.
Making games from kids movies has to suck pretty bad. Pity the design team saddled with turning this actually pretty good, but not particularly action driven Disney movie into a video game. The film works basically as a CGI multiple character study and a meditation on letting go of past regrets in interest of a brighter future. The game essentially involves running around American Gladiators-style in a big-ass bubble. You could blame the game’s designers for settling for the old licensed-game copout of padding the film’s core plotline with lots of mundane tasks (help Wilbur discover the garage code so he can get the time machine and advance the plot!). But considering we’re talking about an adaptation of a movie mostly involving adoption interviews and a science fair, the mediocrity achieved by the folks at Disney Interactive is pretty impressive.
