We’re gonna party like it’s 1999, SA. Because in retrospect, that year was candy, wasn’t it? No war on terror. No Black Monday redux. No “the world will end in fire, turns out.” Aiding our retro fantasies are two key coordinates on the fantasy scale: Russian oligarch and hip-hop megastar. K?EMLIN, the new club on level three of the River Walk’s Acapulco Sam’s promises that the ice-cold vodka, caviar, and women in Russian costumes (Matryoshka dolls? Gulag wardens? Mail-order brides?) at Thursday’s grand opening will help the culture clash go down. The heir to Polly Esther’s (heir to the original Acapulco Sam’s) is setting the ostentatiousness bar high with a stunt worthy of a late-stage tsar: Snow, rumored to be from Mother Russia herself, at Wednesday’s press preview. Local temps are scheduled to drop as low as 31 degrees Wednesday night, so flurries may persist into Thursday. Let your balalakas ring out at 212 College Street.

But first, sip a little of the spirit of adventuress Barbe-Nicole Clicquot Ponsardin Wednesday night at 20Nine in the Quarry, where $29 all-in includes appetizers and 7 champagnes such as Veuve Clicquot La Grande Dame, and Moet and Chandon Brut Imperial Rose.
(210) 798-WINE for info.