Here's a raunchy little playlist to help you get your groove on, libido up, and ready for action for Valentine's Day, or any day, really.
Dead Kennedys, “Too Drunk to Fuck”
Nothing is sexier than Jello Biafra proclaiming his love by being too blasted to get it on.
Lil’ Wayne, “Pussy Monster”
After proclaiming himself as the “Pussy Monster” constantly, Lil’ Wayne probably outdoes the Cookie Monster’s love for cookies.
50 Cent feat. Olivia, “Candy Shop”
50 Cent sure is a smooth guy. He makes tasting his “lollipop” sound like a delicious treat. What a way to pick up the ladies.
Riskay, “Smell Yo Dick”
Although “Smell Yo Dick” sounds like it could be a bedroom anthem, it’s actually a cautionary tale about how far a woman will go to find out if her man is cheating.
Nirvana, "Moist Vagina"
If strawberry kiwi flavored lubricant isn't your thing, it's probably best for you to do it the old-fashioned way.
Die Antwoord, “Girl I Want 2 Eat U”
If a guy says it "smells like fish, taste like chicken” it’s probably best to go your separate ways. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.
Mickey Avalon, “Fuckin Em All”
Hey Mickey, you’re so fine, but bragging about beating dudes up, having a foursome and wanting a girl who does dishes doesn't usually charm any panties off.
The Notorious B.I.G. feat. R. Kelly, “Fuck You Tonight”
I don’t care how much R. Kelly croons; there will never be anything sexy about “sex that’s sweaty and leftover Spaghetti.”
R. Kelly, “Cookie”
As the reigning king of R&B (and golden showers with minors), R. Kelly’s sweet talking includes beating a girl’s nether regions until its blue and cracking her back like a lobster. Sounds more like a serial killer than a sex god.
Three 6 Mafia, “Slob on my Knob”
I don't care how many roses and chocolates you get on Valentine's day. If your man asked you to "do your job" and slob on his knob like "corn on the cob," don't do it.
