Ted Cruz Watched Porn With Supreme Court Justices

click to enlarge Is Ted Cruz a secret freak nasty?
Is Ted Cruz a secret freak nasty?

Things got weird when Ted Cruz clerked at the Supreme Court.

In new book from Texas’ junior senator, “A Time for Truth,” set for release on Tuesday, June 30, Cruz describes an incident when he watched porn with former Supreme Court Justices William Rehnquist and Sandra Day O’Connor. Here’s how the would-be Republican presidential nominee describes the incident according to The Washington Post:

Cruz served as a law clerk to then Supreme Court Chief Justice William Rehnquist. One day, he was standing behind Rehnquist and Justice Sandra Day O'Connor.

"We were in front of a large computer screen gazing at explicit, hard-core pornography," Cruz wrote.

The reason? The court was considering a case challenging a law that regulated online porn. The clerks were older and not well-versed in the Internet, so court librarians set up a tutorial for the justices and their clerks on how easy it was to find porn online. Cruz watched as the librarian typed in the word "cantaloupe," though it was misspelled.

"A slew of hard-core, explicit images showed up onscreen," he wrote. "As we watched these graphic pictures fill our screens, wide-eyed, no one said a word. Except for Justice O'Connor, who lowered her head, squinted slightly, and muttered, 'Oh, my.'"

It’s only a matter of time before this scene becomes fodder for the porn parody industry, which — judging by the sheer volume of titles out there — is the strongest sector of the American economy.

We looked far and wide, but couldn't find a Ted Cruz-related porn parody. Should he win the Republican primary, it increases the odds that he'll join the ranks of classic political smut, including titles such as:

"Who's Nailin' Paylin?" 

"Barrack's Big Stimulus Package" 

YouTube Screenshot
"Hillary Earns the Black Vote"

"Here Cums the President"

And you get the point. Watch this space for more updates the Ted Cruz porn beat.