Savage Love talks Risky Business

Q: I’ve never admitted this to anyone: The idea of committing suicide turns me on sexually. I recognize how crazy that is, and I want to emphasize that I’m not suicidal. I’m not depressed, I love living, and despite this sexual impulse, I don’t want to kill myself. I’m turned on by the fantasy of hanging myself, but that’s not really how I want my life to end. (To be clear: Autoerotic asphyxiation gets a lot of press, but that’s not the situation here. Asphyxiation itself isn’t my kink, and other methods of committing suicide also turn me on.) My question is this: Given that I don’t want these fantasy scenarios to ever become reality, should I indulge the fantasy through healthy, safe play with a responsible partner or should I try to repress it and shut it down? I’m worried that if I indulge the fantasies through safe scenarios, I might reach a point where the safety precautions interfere with the thrill. On the other hand, I know that trying to repress sexual desires is a hopeless endeavor and trying to keep these fantasies in check might result in a scenario where they boil over and I end up engaging in riskier behavior than I would have otherwise. — Horny And Nervous Guy’s Endangering Deeds

You’re not actually suicidal, right? I know you already said you weren’t, HANGED, but I want to double-check. Because fantasizing about killing yourself — for whatever reason — technically counts as suicidal ideation. If you or anyone else reading this is contemplating suicide, please reach out to someone you trust. Ask for help. Stick around. (Some resources: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-8255; the Trevor Project, 1-866-488-7386; Trans Lifeline, 877-565-8860.)

Okay, HANGED, I’m going to take you at your word: You love being alive and don’t actually want to kill yourself any more than a sane person into Master/slave role-play actually wants to own a human being or be enslaved. But while I agree that repressing sexual desires is a hopeless endeavor, HANGED, “can’t be repressed” isn’t the only factor we have to take into consideration as we contemplate acting on our sexual fantasies. There are two other important considerations (at least!): Can the act be performed consensually? Can the act be enjoyed with minimal risk of permanent harm?

Your kink can definitely be performed consensually, and there are ways to minimize the risks of harm — and I’m not talking about only sticking your head in an Easy-Bake Oven. I’m talking about finding a responsible/indulgent/macabre partner who’s willing to indulge/assist/monitor. Yours is a kink that can be explored only during supervised play, otherwise you run the risk of fucking up and accidentally hanging yourself. You can never do this solo. So if you don’t have a responsible and unflappable partner, HANGED, you’ll have to stick to your right hand and your imagination.

Q: Bi guy here, who’s way okay with the use of “fag” or “faggot” in the right context. And what FAGS wrote in about last week — a boyfriend who wants to be called “faggot” while she talks negatively about his cock — is absolutely the right context. There’s an evolution in meaning taking place right now, Dan. These days, “fag” is less about sexual preference and more about sexual submission. A submissive man? Gay or straight? He’s a fag. I’ve been serviced by both hetero and homo faggots and have enjoyed myself, as have the fags who sucked my cock or did my housework. Go onto Tumblr and see for yourself. (Also: I have a sneaky suspicion that sparks would fly if FAGS raised the subject of cuckoldry with her boyfriend.)Bi Guy Into Faggots

Thanks for sharing, BGIF.