heaping ridicule on Texas for its abortion ban, satire site The Onion has now trolled Gov. Greg Abbott's increasingly over-the-top attempts to legislate "family values" as he panders to Republican fringe voters.
In a piece posted Thursday, The Onion mockingly reported that Abbott had signed a law banning sex between consenting adults during a high-profile ceremony attended by state lawmakers. (We can only wonder if Chick-fil-A was served for the occasion. The gov can't seem to resist a heavy-handed photo op.)
“I’m proud to sign this bill into law today making all consensual sexual acts punishable by a minimum of 10 years in prison,” Abbott proclaimed, according to the piece. “Consensual sex has always been immoral, and now it’s finally illegal, too. Enthusiastic, continuous, specific, freely given, and clearly communicated sexual consent will not be tolerated in Texas. Any person who sets up two friends on a date who then go on to have a consensual sexual relationship will also be held responsible and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.”
The conservative-dominated U.S. Supreme Court had already issued a ruling deciding not to block the law, The Onion noted.
After Abbott reelection guru Dave Carney recently told news outlets he considers the governor's cruel policy of bullying transgender kids a “75% to 80% winner,” please keep this Onion piece away from the Abbott campaign. It may well give them ideas.
Stay on top of San Antonio news and views. Sign up for our Weekly Headlines Newsletter.