Amuse-Bouche was putting the final touches on a column about the changing landscape of food journalism — i.e., Will stories that recognize economic realities begin to take precedence over articles that sing the virtues of $100 balsamic vinegar and five-star restaurants? — when our editor forwarded us a press release about the aphrodisiacal qualities of watermelon, and we were like, What?

Does that make us … shallow?

Like Amuse-Bouche the First, A-B II cares little for the most ubiquitous of summertime melons (when they aren’t spiraled around artist Sigalit Landau, anyway.)

But, apparently, the black-seed-specked fruit has a similar effect on the body as Viagra, thanks to the phyto-nutrient citrulline, according to Dr. Bhimu Patil, director of Texas A&M’s Fruit and Vegetable Improvement Center. Patil says in the release that watermelon “isn’t as organ-specific” as the little blue pill, but it lacks drug-related side-effects.

How’s that for economic food fun? (Mm-hmm. You knew I’d wrap that shit back around, didn’t you?) Even if your interests aren’t singularly lascivious this summer, the watermelon’s phyto-nutrients’ll help keep you at play with their heart and immune-system beneficiary properties.

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