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Candy maker Brach’s introduces Funfetti candy canes in a major affront to Christmas joy 

click image Candy company Brach’s has launched birthday cake-flavored candy canes. - INSTAGRAM / PACK__A__SNACK
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  • Candy company Brach’s has launched birthday cake-flavored candy canes.
Forget whatever the Fox News hosts are hyperventilating about right now. This is the real war on Christmas.

Candy maker Brach’s has broken yuletide tradition with a nauseating twist on the beloved and time-honored peppermint candy cane.

This week, the company launched Funfetti-branded canes that feature rainbow sprinkles strewn through each piece of candy. You know Funfetti cakes, right? The kind served at children's birthday parties with chalky, sickeningly sweet colored bits packed inside the mix. Yes. Gag.

Why Funfetti canes? We don’t know. We just want it to stop.

What we do know is that this isn’t Brach’s first foray into candy cane flavors worthy of the naughty list. The company's owner, Ferrara, is also responsible for the Cherry Rainbow and SweeTARTS candy cane flavors of Christmases past.

Funfetti is certainly no improvement. Humbug on that shit.

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January 12, 2022

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