Listen to Mama: They’re all gonna laugh at you! That cutie in your homeroom who wants to meet you at the musical version of Stephen King’s Carrie is clearly setting you up for a nasty prank, child. Obviously such a thing is too awesome to exist. What do you mean it ran for three days on Broadway in 1988? Well of course The New Yorker speculated as to whether it was the “worst musical of all time.” It’s the dumbest idea Mama ever heard. OK, yeah, Mama did just say it was awesome but that was back before Mama thought about it for more than two seconds. In practice it’s a terrible idea that apparently lost a record-setting $7 million, so there’s no way that any theater in 2014 would...what’s that? It was revived and rewritten in 2012 because your generation views everything through several layers of irony and several more layers of things that aren’t irony but are kind of like irony so everyone just calls them irony and there’s no longer any way of determining whether something is bad-bad or so-bad-it’s-good or so-good-that-it’s-secretly bad or some other forgotten categorization that you suspect might have had something to do with that intangible essence Robert Pirsig calls the “metaphysics of quality”? Mama is nonplussed.