Cinematic Spillover: Short Reviews of Into the Ashes, Iron Sky: The Coming Race and Supervized 

click to enlarge KIKO MARTINEZ
  • Kiko Martinez

Since Disney didn’t screen The Lion King for critics in San Antonio, what better movie to review instead than one featuring a reptilian version of Adolf Hitler riding a Tyrannosaurus? We jest, but that’s what we have for you today – a lizard Nazi jockeying a T-Rex. Here are a few short reviews of movies that will be released on VOD July 19.

Into the Ashes

click to enlarge RLJE FILMS
  • RLJE Films
There is an amazing scene during the Oscar-winning 2007 film No Country for Old Men where filmmakers Ethan and Joel Coen deny viewers from witnessing the death of one of the main characters. It’s a smartly shot scene that reminds audiences that the Coens have no interest in hitting familiar narrative beats – even if that means frustrating audiences looking for some sort of closure. The last act of Into the Ashes is a much longer version of that scenario from No Country for Old Men, but writer/director Aaron Harvey (The Neighbor) doesn’t seem interested in doing anything different with the final reveal than what countless of movies have done before. It doesn’t help that Harvey’s first two acts are wasted with an abundance of plodding storytelling and a cast of generic characters. Revenge flicks can’t get much staler than this. Into the Ashes hits VOD platforms July 19.
2 out of 5 stars

Iron Sky: The Coming Race

click to enlarge VERTICAL ENTERTAINMENT
  • Vertical Entertainment
For those coming into this sequel who thought the 2012 original was a gift to cult movie fanatics everywhere, there really is no hope for you. Iron Sky was bad. Iron Sky: The Coming Race is worse. Call it mindless schlock if that makes you feel better about liking it, but campy movies are supposed to be ridiculous and entertaining. Iron Sky: The Coming Race is light years from the latter. Director Timo Vuorensola (Iron Sky) returns for the sequel with his corps of Moon Nazis. This time, the Earth has been destroyed and the remaining humans have found a new home on the dark side of the moon. Led by Obi Washington (Lara Rossi), the daughter of the human faction’s leader, she and a motley crew take a spaceship to the center of the Earth (Hollow Earth conspiracy theorists will love this) where a powerful element with healing capabilities is said to exist. Inhabiting the hollow core is also a group of shape-shifting, reptilian humanoids who take on the appearance of notable past and present figures like Adolf Hitler, Margaret Thatcher, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, Osama bin Laden and Sarah Palin. When Hitler rides in on a Tyrannosaurus Rex, there will be some less than finicky viewers who will give it a pass. For everyone else, the credits won’t roll fast enough. Iron Sky: The Coming Race hits VOD platforms July 19.
.5 out of 5 stars

Supervized

click to enlarge FREESTYLE RELEASING
  • Freestyle Releasing
Old age can’t keep some superheroes retired forever. In Supervized, a team of elderly, costumed crime fighters butt heads with their nursing home in Ireland after the mysterious death of one of their own. Oscar nominee Tom Berenger (Platoon) stars as Ray (AKA Maximum Justice), the leader of the geriatric team, which also includes actors Beau Bridges (The Descendants), Oscar winner Louis Gossett Jr. (An Officer and a Gentleman) and Fionnula Flanagan (The Others). Directed by Steven Barron, whose second feature film of his career was the original 1990’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Supervized is mostly harmless and features a nasty streak and a darkly humorous edge that is enjoyable in small doses. But the senior citizen tropes (jokes about dentures, colostomy bags, fallen trousers, prostates, Viagra, etc.) diminishes the script. Plus, it takes screenwriters nearly an hour to get the main characters back in their tights and capes. Even then, the grumpy-old-men schtick continues to wear out its welcome. Supervized hits VOD platforms July 19.
2.5 out of 5 stars

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