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Consumer Product Safety Commission Recalls 67 Fireworks Varieties Ahead of Holiday So You Can Keep All Your Fingers 

  • U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission
We share this information not to scare you, but to help you keep all your digits intact. Digits, after all, are extremely useful for playing music, creating art and cracking open beers — all things we encourage Current readers to do.

Ahead of the Independence Day holiday, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has pulled 67 fireworks varieties from a number of producers. The trio of recalls posted on the agency's website includes products from GS Fireworks and Grandma's Fireworks plus Keystone's G-Fore Fireworks.

“The recalled fireworks are overloaded with pyrotechnics intended to produce an audible effect, violating the federal regulatory standard for this product," CPSC warns. "Overloaded fireworks can result in a greater than expected explosion, posing explosion and burn hazards to consumers."

Let's dumb it down a bit: that shit can blow you up.

An 8-year-old child has already lost a hand due to one of the recalled explosives, according to the agency, which also notes that more than 60% of last year’s 9,100 fireworks injuries occurred on July 4.

But, hey, we're assuming your Independence Day plans include no such risky behavior, especially not a dangerous combination of alcohol and explosives, right?

Not to mention, use of fireworks inside San Antonio city limits is a criminal offense — and we know how vigorously that rule is enforced.

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