CRITICAL Darling 

Once again, Critical Darling has become the receptacle for eulogizing (ugh, just when I had overcome that nasty little existential crisis), because, if you didn’t know: Charlton Heston is dead. (We didn’t know until a CD Exchange employee told us on Saturday while we were unloading our copy of Cold Mountain `Hey, speaking of dead people!`.) Anyway, we’d be sadder if we could’ve pried those damn, dirty guns from his warm, living hands, but some things you just don’t make it around to. Also, sometimes you’re afraid of being shot by a legendary film actor with bad teeth.

But don’t be down, little campers. So, the silver screen has lost one of the greats? In memoriam, why not help it lose one of the not-so-greats?

Uwe Boll, German director of such monstrously bad fare as House of the Dead, BloodRayne, and In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, has agreed to throw in the towel should a petition requesting that he end his career acquire one-million signatures. You can join more than 54,000 others (as of press time) to sign at petitiononline.com.

Finally, a warning: I spent the weekend watching Battlestar Galactica. (And just like that, Critical Darling becomes the Dwight Schrute of entertainment columns.) XO.


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