CRITICAL Darling 

Some actors you just can’t replace with other actors to signify passage of time. That whole Ewan McGregor = young Albert Finney thing in Big Fish is like a miracle. (Two more, and Burton’s up for sainthood.) I guess Meryl Streep’s lucky she has a twin-beaked successor in Mamie Gummer, or Evening would have been … worse. Unfortunately, Vanessa Redgrave’s actual middle-aged daughter was busy playing the role of her fictional middle-aged daughter in that film, so the role of the college-aged Redgrave went to Claire Danes.

Ha! Lo siento, filmmakers, but when it comes to Danes, absolutely nobody looks like her. (See, you knew there was a reason Beth March had to die young in Little Women.) Like Paul Dano — who re-appeared in There Will Be Blood as a character whose age had about doubled at the time of the epilogue — Danes possesses a pretty special face. Imagine our horror, then, when we discovered that Charlotte Gainsbourg — who resembles no one but mommy Jane Birkin and dad Serge — would be filling Danes’ shoes in the forthcoming McG Terminator 4. And now we hear she’s vacated the role for … Bryce Dallas Howard? But she’s even younger than our March girl! XO.


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