Dear Uncle Mat

Your Uncle Mat was on a little Thanksgiving holiday last week, and in the spirit of giving thanks, I am sharing a few thank-you notes I have received over the last several months.

I am not sure how often you receive emails sharing what happened after your response and publication to one’s inquiry. My first one, way back in the beginning: The Daddio left the girlfriend that was causing all the emotional problems for our kiddo. All three of us are now friends. My second letter: The front yard full of dog shit is now free of dog shit. Thank you ...

— Smiles in SA

Happy to hear that everyone can be friends again and that the kiddo can enjoy the love and respect not only from, but between, his parents. It is also nice to know that you can stop chasing your neighbors home with their doggy doo. Hurling feces and obscenities simultaneously earns one such an unfair reputation.

I want to thank you for including my conundrum with Felipe in your column. It was great that you took this opportunity to inject some education on pet ownership and I hope that was helpful to some readers. The baby in question is my granddaughter. My daughter wanted to know if I sent you a picture of me because the cartoon character bears a strong resemblance!

We have tile throughout the house, so cleaning is a lot easier. Even though I sweep and mop daily, you would be surprised how much cat hair I pick up! I am following your suggestion of putting Felipe in the carrier for short periods so that he can become accustomed to it.

Alas, I have had no inquiries on Felipe …

That illustration was one of the first by Nation of Amanda for the column. I am thrilled with her characters and love her style. Possibly she is also one of those psychics who draw people for the police, too!

I read your response multiple times and I’ve been subconsciously thinking about what you’ve said since then ... that maybe I am trying to prove to myself that I can be in a relationship. Yes, it did hurt to read that, but then again, the truth hurts. Since reading your response, I’ve let go of a lot of emotions and doubts that I’ve held onto from the past and rolled with the present — and I have to say that it feels really good. Alls I really want to say is thank you. A lot.

— The creatively anonymous shoe kid. ;`

Glad I could be of service. It can be very difficult to take an objective look at ourselves, especially if it is critical. Many people turn on themselves in a low-self-esteem feeding frenzy or just simply deny what they discover. Self improvement is only really possible with a strong level of self-acceptance.

You have this extreme bias I’ve noticed. Is that because of your big sister?

— A

Obviously I had to inquire what you know about my family (I have three “big” sisters, and a younger one). You said my letters read as if I were talking to my older sister. So I guess I’m not famous enough for a stalker yet, but thanks for reading the column.

In response to your “Goonies” column (I know I’m late!):

I just wanted to say that you hit the nail on the head! At least, in my opinion you did! And the line about “good men are out there doing things?” That really stuck with me. I think I myself have been waiting around for the right guy. I need to be proactive, damnit!

Much love and warm, fuzzy feelings,

— I

It’s never too late for a compliment, unless it’s a date, and then it still can’t hurt. Good guys are out there. You don’t have to hunt them like wild game, but you are definitely increasing your odds if you have a full and varied social life.

I encourage anyone to write in, whether they agree, disagree, or just want to add something to advice I’ve given a reader ... I will happily share your point of view.

P.S. Calling me at midnight when you’re drunk and leaving a rant on my voicemail doesn’t count. You know who you are. I love you, but I can hardly print that.

Much love and a happy December,

Your Uncle Mat

Uncle Mat answers questions about relationships, sex, pets, and art. Email him at
[email protected],, or check out the Dear Uncle Mat Page on Facebook. Your true identity is safe with him.

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