October 30, 2014 Slideshows » Food & Drink

Don't Be That House: Candy You Shouldn't Hand Out on Halloween 

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by Albert Salazar
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Dots

Dots are gross and unchewable. Stop giving out Dots.

Granola Bars

Stop it, hippies. Nobody wants your granola.

Fruit Tootsie Rolls

Fruit-flavored Toostie Rolls are lame. Just don't.

Tootsie Rolls

Also lame? Tootsie Rolls.

Bit-o-Honey

Bit-o-Honey? What is this? 1925?

Smarties

Some people love Smarties, but those people are wrong.

Raisins

Personally, I love raisins. Raisins are nature's candy. But raisins on Halloween? What the hell are you thinking?

Peppermints

We know you're just giving out the mints you've collected from Sonic over the past year. Stop cheating.

Peanut Butter Bars

These crunchy peanut butter things just feel so wrong in our mouth.

Bottle Caps

Willie Wonka lies. These don't taste like soda. They taste like nasty.
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Brach's A&W Root Beer Barrels Candy

These don't taste like Root Beer. Nice concept, terrible execution.

Pennies

Don't give out pennies. You can't buy shit with pennies.

Pencils

It's Halloween, not school.

Christian Comics, Pamphlets and Paraphernalia

Yes, we know some Christians don't like the holiday and feel the need to prosthelytize. But can't Satan just have one damn day?

No candy at all

Don't be a dick. Turn on your porch light and give kids some candy.
1/15

Dots

Dots are gross and unchewable. Stop giving out Dots.

Tags: Halloween

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