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Get a Real Job, San Antonio: Be a Preschool Portrait Photographer — No Experience Necessary 

click to enlarge The equipment is probably more advanced, but it's the same idea. - WIKIMEDIA COMMONS
  • Wikimedia Commons
  • The equipment is probably more advanced, but it's the same idea.
Whether you've got one or you need one, jobs can be a drag. So in a new San Antonio Current feature, we scan local job boards to find a real gig you could have that you may never have thought of.

This week: channel your inner Annie Leibovitz and be a preschool portrait photographer, as advertised on the Lifetouch website.

We all remember school picture day. Get in line, sit on a stool in front of some awesome Lisa Frank-inspired backdrop, then hold your head at uncomfortable angles while some guy surrounded by umbrellas takes your picture.

You could be that guy. Lifetouch is hiring a preschool portraits photographer in San Antonio.

Now you say to yourself “But I don’t know anything about taking pictures. All of the masterpieces on my Instagram take a thousand tries, and then I spend 15 minutes finding the right filter. It’s fraud, I tell you! Fraud!”

There’s good news though: that doesn’t matter. According to the job posting, you don’t need to have picture-taking experience, you only need to be able to tolerate small children and get them to sit still for a few seconds. From the ad:

At Lifetouch, the photographic role is more than just a job; it's a rewarding career opportunity you’re not going to want to miss! Do you have a heart for children? Do you like the idea of working with children and capturing memories that will last a lifetime? Lifetouch, the world's largest employee-owned photography company, is seeking friendly, responsible and creative individuals with reliable transportation to join our talented Lifetouch Preschool Portraits photography team. In this role, you will set up in preschools each day and create high-quality portraits.

You don’t need to be a professional photographer to qualify! We will train you on everything you need to know about taking memorable portraits while delivering a delightful experience for students and teachers alike. You bring your high energy, outgoing, and customer-focused personality, and we’ll show you the rest. If this sounds like the kind of opportunity you’ve been looking for, we would love to talk with you.

Nowhere in the requirements does it ask for photography experience. Sure, you’ve got to have a high school diploma, be able to pass a background check and have a driver’s license, but even if you haven’t touched a camera since those cardboard-wrapped disposable point-and-shoots were all the rage, you’ve still got a shot at this gig.

Just think, your work could be carried around in wallets and dragged out to embarrass prom dates for years to come. Apply here

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December 1, 2021

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