Gum the Blackberry and touch the solar-powered monkey

Sun volts

You say alternative power solutions aren’t as captivating as alternative lifestyles? Until you can shag your way to illumination, you’ll have to deal with it.

The good news is, it likely won’t be long before you’ll be able to capture the kinetic energy of your bedsprings — or van springs or trainer cuffs — to power your MP3 player. Researchers are already talking about converting sidewalk foot traffic to electricity, for more security cams, you can bank. We’ve also got tidal power and a rash of microturbines in development. (Put that propeller beanie back on, Energy Patriot!)

The other good news is that SA has achieved two critical milestones in our renewable efforts. First, Say-town was approved as a “Solar America City” this week, and second, Texans overwhelmed bad solar policies filtering out of the state’s Public Utility Commission that would have made the former much less significant.

El PUC has been pursuing rules that wouldn’t require utilities to pay for power that flows back into the grid from residential rooftop panels, stripping any econo-logic (tho not the eco-) behind installing them. Queque had to file an official request to find out how many emails poured into PUC offices, but we were told “thousands.”

The complaint traffic directed at PUC Chairman Barry Smitherman gummed up his Blackberry, according to the agency’s press agent, and the Group of Three agreed to push the vote on netmetering (Docket #34890) onto April 9’s agenda. Keep those comments flying.

Where there’s smoke

So Queque is bedside in this chair-cubed contraption. It’s not for me, but the drugged hottie reclining in front of me. There are no wires to power my iPod, but that doesn’t keep my mind from evaluating the eros-making potential of the stainless pulleys of the infinitely posturing hospital bed. If not for the newly stitched 12-inch gash in that thing’s thigh … My phone rings from 202: The nation’s capital, rocking me out of my reverie. The woman on the line wants to know if I’ve been swamped with email. Why? The rumor mill had been humming on Chertoff law-waiving and border-wall construction.

Some Yawnie-cum-earlys started reporting on speculation. Que2 waited for the Associated Press story (with sources!) stating Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff and the Bush Administration were preparing to issue a series of waivers to indemnify themselves from, like, all other federal laws that stand in the way of their building vast sections of border wall from Cali’s Pacific to the Gulf (of Mexico). That story broke 52 minutes ago, plus the 29 minutes it took me to open the email, factoring in the time it took this item to hit ink and find you in Chipotle’s bathroom and we’re already 1,521 minutes overdue to publicly mass on every office of every Congressional numbskull that approved the Real ID Act that allows such waivers and demand immediate revocation.

Lost in the border-wall wilderness? Orient yourself at

Note to Counsel

(Queque would love to share the latest wild fluctuations in Rev. Perky’s perkiness. However, hisdozer-defeating attorneys were busy, for three hours, having lunch. Um, pass the antipasto. Again.) Check Curblog at for updates. And check for details on a reception 5-7 p.m. this Friday, where the Reverend’s real-world art prowess will be revealed.

Ticket to ride

When the bedspring-generator revolution finally does bounce around, the Queque will be a prime power source. It’s not like we can sleep, with visions of sugar-plum plutocrats dancing in our head. And what to our world-weary eyes should appear, but an evil elf from stocking-coal Christmases past, a Grinch of the first degree no Who up in Who’s-Who-Ville should trust within a bat’s wing of the candy-pink dome: Newt Gingrich, stumping for his “good friend” and up-for-re-election Rail Road Commish Michael Williams at a $50-per San Anto breakfast. On April 1, no less.

Sleepless we may be, but we’re still dreamers, and imagine that Williams, a Perry appointee in the mold of good corporate relations, might meet his proletarian match in the form of a crusty old well contractor or a tenacious advocate for the blind, whichever should be triumpant at the April 8 runoff ballot box ( for sites and sample ballots). Read interviews with TRRC Dem candidates Dale Henry and Mark Thompson online at

Freedom fighter

Back to the oratory pleasures: the Queque is pleased as sun-brewed punch that New Yorker writer Seymour Hersh — personal big-J hero and Iraq Fog of War lighthouse — appears at 7:30 p.m. Thursday, April 3, at Laurie Auditorium as the inaugural speaker in Trinity U’s spanktaculous new Maverick Lecture Series, named after civil-rights legal legend Maury Maverick, Jr. In the Maverick, and indeed Hersh, spirit, it’s free and open to the public, so Queque expects a democratic mob. More info: (210) 999-8406.

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