last words 


By: Richard Dame


Used prophylatic
Is sticking to your curtains.
Dude, how cool is that?


Schedule says it’s time
To shave your chupacabra.
Can I watch, this time?


A woman’s butt crack
Is now known as a coin slot.
Make a note of it.


Blueberry muffin.
You don’t buy it, you rent it.
Then you poop it out.


Test results right here.
Undead semen not fertile.
Zombie not the dad.


Butt – I’m not picking!!
It’s just so itchy down there.
Look – my nail is clean!


Yonder is my gal,
The one opening her beer,
With her diaphragm

Note: Strictly speaking, the preceding poems aren’t haiku, but senryu. Haiku are usually solemn contemplations on nature, whereas senryu involve cynical, dark humor related to the human condition.

– Department of Samurai Champloo Studies,
SA Current University (unaccredited).




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