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Music : From pussy, with love 

A bit more on Ram at Taco Land - Hey, this ain't the Alamodome

In 1997, my band booked a show at Taco Land for our friends from North Carolina, Jennyanykind. A week before the show, I got a call from some Philadelphia band that wanted on the bill. I gave in and everyone was pissed because three bands never work at Taco Land.

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The first date

On the night of the show, the Philadelphia band showed up early and started to erect a comically elaborate light show that required three "roadies" and 14 power strips. From the back of the room I heard: "Hey, do these pussies think they're playing the Alamodome or what?"

I cringed.

It didn't help that these guys were dressed in cowboy boots and cut-off jeans. They looked like the Village People on crack — and they sounded worse.

After two songs, the entire bar left for the SWC club, and no one was talking to me. I was ruined, or so I thought.

Later, after Jennyanykind started to play, Ram called me into his office: "So, pussy, I asked my bartendress, I said, 'Which of these bands, the first band or these Jennyanykinds,' I asked, 'which of them is the better band?' Do you know what she said?"

I didn't.

"She said, 'These guys, they're real good, but that first band, they fucking suck!' And you know what? She was right, that first band sucked!"

I felt really lame, but Ram smiled and pointed to three giant collages he had posted on his office wall. Amidst thousands of pictures of every cool person I ever knew in San Antonio, he instantly picked out a picture of my wife and me on our first date.

Then he hugged me and said: "Hey, you fucked up tonight, pussy, but that's okay, come back and play here next week. Hurry back, I miss you already!"


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