By Laura Fries Billed as "boy in flak jacket meets girl in strait jacket," Stateside is actually the tale of how a whopping dose of militarism, loopy writing, and ridiculous portrayals of mental illness can combine to thwart what should have been a lighthearted teen romance. Dori Lawrence (Cook) is a famous actress/rock star/schizophrenic - all of which is amply demonstrated in the first five minutes, as she goes from the set of a flick to the stage of a club where she sings, "I'm reckless, I'm reckless." Mark Deloach (Tucker) is a prep school bad boy, who smashes his car, and gets his butt hauled off to the Marines to avoid jail time - but not before meeting Dori in a mental hospital. Here is where the movie turns decidedly un-teen friendly: Mark's boot camp experience is seriously stomach-turning. Val Kilmer plays SDI Skeer with boredom; he can't even yell with conviction. He picks on young Mark because he is a "rich boy," punching him, exposing him to gas, all the while making pronouncements such as, "The only things we share with ragheads and communists is death." Finally, Mark turns on him, and beats him to the floor, making Skeer smile. This, apparently, is what he wanted: Mark is now a man, and the rest of the movie glosses over his military experience, focusing instead on the leave time he spends with Dori. Fortunately, she has the special kind of schizophrenia that is kittenish and
By Laura Fries
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