S'Nuff Film 

Attention potential stage parents: Has your child always had a secret wish to perform? A wish they’ve always been too shy to express or even perceive, perhaps, but a desire that’s been eating them up inside ever since you, I mean they, were young? If so, drag the sniveling little ingrate to the downtown branch of the San Antonio Library (600 Soledad) at 7 p.m. Tuesday for a very special San Antonio Film Forum. This week’s topic is “Young Actors: Making it to the Big Screen,” so you’re sure to pick up all sorts of tips on molding your brat into the next target for America’s bitter jealousy and projected self-hate. Your kid will thank you (or more likely sue you) someday.

If you’ve got a cool Grover Cleveland (the dead prez gracing the $1,000 bill) to drop on your little Jonathan Lipnicki/Jamie Foxworth in training, you might consider signing him or her up for Performing Arts summer camp (performingartssa.com), which is now enrolling middle- and high-school students. Acting and filmmaking classes run July 6-31, and cost $250 a week. That might seem steep, but remember you legally control your prodigy’s income until s/he turns 18. Cha-ching!


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