Spittin' Game 

click to enlarge 20070227_222724_2_storyjpg


Superman Returns
Electronic Arts
Xbox 360, Playstation 2
$49.99-59.99
Drop $60 for this and you’re mostly buying a valuable life lesson. Superman video games are like movies featuring Martin Lawrence in drag. No one’s made a good one, ever, and they never will. Please stop giving these evil people money. At least this time EA’s found a next-gen-way of screwing up by trying like hell to out-GTA Spider-Man 2 with nonlinear sandboxiness. Unfortunately EA tried so hard to make Superman’s adventure more open-ended that the game designers apparently forgot to add a few things like objectives and enemy A.I. and the part where you do shit. So keep your money, you can learn the same lesson renting Big Momma’s House.




click to enlarge 20070227_223003_2_storyjpg


Lost Planet
Capcom
Xbox 360
$59.99

Warning: I’m about to completely geek out. Any hot chicks or people I know in real life should skip to the next review; it’s about to get embarrassing.

OMG, guys, this game is cooler than Captain Picard punching Darth Vader in the face. Realistic snow-covered planet physics and some awesome-ass, flying trilobite-looking aliens to aim your rocket launcher at. And holy MF, I haven’t mentioned the mechs yet. This game is even cooler than it sounds. And a hell of a lot cooler than I sound.





click to enlarge 20070227_223110_2_storyjpg


Blitz: The League
Midway
Xbox 360, Playstation 2
$49.99-59.99

We try to put it out of our minds, but as human beings it’s our fate to live with the sad knowledge of the terrible but inevitable fact: Eventually, football season ends. Stuck between the Super Bowl and the Combine, I sometimes catch myself wondering what happened to the  XFL.

Apparently the people at Midway have been thinking the same thing, because they’ve recreated the league in all its immature glory. One look at the cheerleaders uniforms or the slow-mo X-Ray cam shot accompanying injuries, and you’ll realize that Midway’s discovered the secret formula for football methadone, and the first step is hiring a programming team of ‘roid raging 14-year-olds with boners.


We’re keeping you informed…
...and it’s what we love to do. From local politics and culture to national news that hits close to home, San Antonio Current has been keeping San Antonio informed for years.


It’s never been more important to support local news sources. A free press means accountability and a well-informed public, and we want to keep our unique and independent reporting available for many, many years to come.


If quality journalism is important to you, please consider a donation to San Antonio Current. Every reader contribution is valuable and so appreciated, and goes directly to support our coverage of critical issues and neighborhood culture. Thank you.


Calendar

Newsletters

Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

© 2020 San Antonio Current

Website powered by Foundation