Spittin’ Game

Rock Band
Xbox 360

Rock Band might be the coolest party game ever, but if you don’t have any friends it’s just one more sad reminder that video games can’t make you cool.

Unlike Guitar Hero III, Rock Band is designed with multiple players in mind — solo mode is only thrown in as a practice mode. If you don’t have friends to man the other instruments, you can still play through all the songs in solo mode, but the real fun comes with more players all pulling together to nail, or sometimes just survive, a song. Since the performance of your teammates affects your triumph (you have to successfully play through a song as an entire band or not at all), players actually have an incentive to work together, and because better players can accumulate energy used to bail out weaker players, all that time you spend playing the game by yourself might actually make you look a little bit cooler.

Super Mario Galaxy
Nintendo Wii

With all the controversy surrounding sex, violence, and drugs in today’s video games, it’s a wonder Super Mario Galaxy has remained under the radar of concerned parents everywhere.

Grand Theft Auto might encourage or even reward violent behavior, but a game in which the protagonist — who looks almost exactly like porn star Ron Jeremy — collects stars to fly through space and eats mushrooms in order to turn into an unnatural human-bee hybrid might as well come packed with a heroin syringe and offer bonus points for pooping on the Bible.

Unfortunately for respectable society, mocking the laws of our government and the universe itself has never been so freaking awesome. The variety and innovation Mario Galaxy brings to a classic platformer make the negative impact this game will surely have on future generations so totally worth it.


davidwain.com/blog: So, as TV-land is totally barren, I have to thank a fellow Current staffer for turning me on to The State/Stella-alum David Wain’s blog, which prominently features his cameo-littered, New York mag-lauded web program, Wainy Days. I’d like to tell you I made it more than a third of the way through episode 16, but I was too in fear of shooting coffee out of my nose. SFW? That depends on you ...

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