Vote now in the 2021 Best of San Antonio Readers Poll.

Swiping 101, Or How Not To Be A Tinder Troll 

click to enlarge screen_shot_2015-08-22_at_4.00.05_pm.png

College is a hectic time for many young people. Plenty of students can't even find the time to go to the bookstore to buy scantrons, let alone time enough to date. Fortunately, social media apps such as Tinder have blessed busy students with the ability to search for potential partners with the ease of a take-home test. In order to properly prep for the Tinder test — and not come across as a total creep — I took to social media to check out what people in San Antonio had to say about dating on the run.

The Nopes. The Nahs. The Nevers.

It's time to pay attention, men. Seriously, don't even think about trying these moves:

Summer, 25: "Don't put, 'You know why I'm here.' That never works."

Very true, Summer! The human race hasn't evolved enough to be able to read minds yet.

Natalie, 24: "Don't put, 'No fat chicks.' That's just rude."

Dear Natalie, I apologize for my gender.

Lindsey, 22: "Never ever think it's okay to ask for nudes. 1. Gross. 2. Who are you? 3. Fuck off."

4. Uninstall app. 5. Think about what you've done.

Alex, 21: "Don't use pick-up lines, start using proper grammar and don't ask for sex. I can't think of much else.

Well Alex, that pretty much covers everything except for...

Rawan, 21: "No shirtless selfies, no gym posts, easy on the hashtags, and the Jersey Shore look, and only unbutton two buttons on you shirt tops; nobody needs to see half your body."

#Sorry #OopsIDidItAgain #NotSorry

The Old Reliables

Here's some bonus advice for those who don't know how to begin a conversation:

Kirsten, 21: Honestly, I like something interesting. The more interesting it is, the more likely I am to respond."

Or be the Dos Equis man.

Kristen, 18: "Just stick to something simple and polite, something that you can say in person."

That sounds simple enough.

Welcome to the Man C(r)ave

Not to worry ladies, we compiled a cheat sheet for you, too. After numerous lying messages from males on social media (see the phrase, "I don't use Tinder, brah"), I received a few gems:

Dion, 22: "I stay away from girls with dead animals in their pictures."

Me too, man. Me too.

Alexander, 21: "If they're smoking then left swipe that."

And finally...

Sobe, 22: "Those duck face girls need to give them lips back to Daffy! Ol' Warner Bros. lookin' ass."

You are despicable.

Support Local Journalism.
Join the San Antonio Current Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the San Antonio Press Club for as little as $5 a month.

Read the Digital Print Issue

June 16, 2021

View more issues


Join SA Current Newsletters

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.


© 2021 San Antonio Current

Website powered by Foundation