Join SA Current Press Club. Because No News is Bad News.

Swiping 101, Or How Not To Be A Tinder Troll 

click to enlarge screen_shot_2015-08-22_at_4.00.05_pm.png

College is a hectic time for many young people. Plenty of students can't even find the time to go to the bookstore to buy scantrons, let alone time enough to date. Fortunately, social media apps such as Tinder have blessed busy students with the ability to search for potential partners with the ease of a take-home test. In order to properly prep for the Tinder test — and not come across as a total creep — I took to social media to check out what people in San Antonio had to say about dating on the run.

The Nopes. The Nahs. The Nevers.

It's time to pay attention, men. Seriously, don't even think about trying these moves:

Summer, 25: "Don't put, 'You know why I'm here.' That never works."

Very true, Summer! The human race hasn't evolved enough to be able to read minds yet.

Natalie, 24: "Don't put, 'No fat chicks.' That's just rude."

Dear Natalie, I apologize for my gender.

Lindsey, 22: "Never ever think it's okay to ask for nudes. 1. Gross. 2. Who are you? 3. Fuck off."

4. Uninstall app. 5. Think about what you've done.

Alex, 21: "Don't use pick-up lines, start using proper grammar and don't ask for sex. I can't think of much else.

Well Alex, that pretty much covers everything except for...

Rawan, 21: "No shirtless selfies, no gym posts, easy on the hashtags, and the Jersey Shore look, and only unbutton two buttons on you shirt tops; nobody needs to see half your body."

#Sorry #OopsIDidItAgain #NotSorry

The Old Reliables

Here's some bonus advice for those who don't know how to begin a conversation:

Kirsten, 21: Honestly, I like something interesting. The more interesting it is, the more likely I am to respond."

Or be the Dos Equis man.

Kristen, 18: "Just stick to something simple and polite, something that you can say in person."

That sounds simple enough.

Welcome to the Man C(r)ave

Not to worry ladies, we compiled a cheat sheet for you, too. After numerous lying messages from males on social media (see the phrase, "I don't use Tinder, brah"), I received a few gems:

Dion, 22: "I stay away from girls with dead animals in their pictures."

Me too, man. Me too.

Alexander, 21: "If they're smoking then left swipe that."

And finally...

Sobe, 22: "Those duck face girls need to give them lips back to Daffy! Ol' Warner Bros. lookin' ass."

You are despicable.

San Antonio Current works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of San Antonio and beyond.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep San Antonio's true free press free.

Most Popular

No recently-read stories.

Visit the archives…

Read the Digital Print Issue

June 3, 2020

View more issues


Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.


© 2020 San Antonio Current

Website powered by Foundation