That's a Wrap

Think upon Dorothy Parker’s good vibes toward the word combo “check enclosed.” Now, imagine an equal and opposite reaction to a pair of words. Hold this feeling in your mind. Concentrate.

What you are now experiencing is my supreme disgust for “Oscar snub.” It rivals my distaste for the hullabaloo enshrouding Hounddog.

Oh, you too, huh?

Know what we need? A good mind-fuck, I think. And how serendipitous that David Lynch’s Inland Empire opens this weekend at the Bijou. Did your breath just catch in your chest? Because I’m lying. Sorry. You’ll have to make a road trip up to Austin’s Alamo Drafthouse Village if you really care, and you should, because the film’s mesmerizing. No, I can’t tell you what it’s about. I don’t care what it’s about (well that’s just not true); I’m sufficiently happy to see a movie that actually warrants a second viewing.

You’ll have to trust me on this … I know I tricked you in the last paragraph … but on my word as a gentlewoman, as I’m writing this, our very own John DeFore is interviewing Mr. Lynch for next week’s media feature. Tune in!

At long last, Venus makes its San Antonio debut this week. The film stars Peter O’Toole as a somewhat lecherous, declining theater actor (who’s still in the game, dammit!). See next week’s Current for a review.

Diane Keaton continues to low-ball it with Because I Said So; the ever-grating Mandy Moore co-headlines. (Keaton’s next slated film, Mama’s Boy, at least appears to have a decent cast.) Anyway, in this flick our Annie is Daphne, a woman distraught because her daughter Milly (and you can guess who that is) attracts beastly men. Snooze. Oh, wait! Stephen Collins of 7th Heaven is in it. Oh, wait … snooze.

If it’s a horror movie and it’s got a kid in it, you can bet it will have some creepy-ass children’s song incorporated into its trailer. If not “Ring around the Rosy,” then “The Itsy Bitsy Spider,” or “Jesus Loves Me.” The Messengers trailer — which showcases some genuinely nasty creepy-crawly-people (the undead, I presume) — ends with “Old MacDonald.” As in, eeh-I-eeh-I-oh! If that makes you less inclined to see it this weekend (because now you’re thinking about undead swine, oinking here, oinking there), well, I can’t blame you. But that Dylan McDermott is always a wild card.

— Ashley Lindstrom


Local premiere dates for limited-release films are tentative and can change at the last minute. Please check your local theater listings to confirm showtimes.

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