October 26, 2018 Slideshows » News

The 25 Absolute Worst Decisions You Can Make in San Antonio 

Share on Facebook
Tweet
Submit to Reddit
Email
Living in San Antonio is hella great. After all, we are a "city on the rise." But there's some stuff that you should never ever do in the Alamo City. To stay out of trouble and make your life stress-free, stay clear of the 25 worst decisions you can make while in the 210.
OF 25
PREV NEXT
Go to H-E-B on any major holiday (or the day before)
Unless you’re trying to be on the news or really love crowds, why would you put yourself through that mess? Everything is gonna be out of stock, you’re guaranteed to have to battle someone for the stuff on your shopping list, the lines will be eternal and you definitely won’t get a decent parking spot. Worst of all, San Antonians are known to get feisty in tense situations. Let’s all agree to not wait until the last minute.
Photo via Twitter / erin_nichols
Buy your Spurs gear anywhere besides Military Drive
Sure, you can buy official merch, but puro Spurs gear can be found exclusively on Military. From custom-made tees in every color (including the Fiesta colors) with catchphrases and adorable caricatures, these roadside vendors have everything you need. Go to the Spurs shop and you’ll spend three times as much and not look as puro.
Photo via Instagram / jmart6180
Wear chanclas at Fiesta
Just don’t. Like, why would you even want to? You’re gonna get all stepped on. Your chanclas are gonna get all dirty. And we bet you’ll lose at least one chancla, if not both. Do yourself a favor and stay away from chanclas for any and all Fiesta events. The same goes for heels.
Photo via Instagram / haaannnn_23
Claim Yolanda Saldivar is innocent
Defend her and you might as well start packing your bags, fam.
Photo via Instagram / massmexico
Try to be anywhere on time during rush hour
No matter what highway you’re driving on between 4 and 7 p.m. (more or less) during the week, you’re bound to be sitting in traffic. The same goes between 6 and 9 a.m. Just plan on spending another 30 minutes on the road than you usually would.
Photo via Wikimedia
Think the Spurs are overrated
You’ll have a lot of fans to answer to if you’re caught talking smack.
Photo via Instagram / spurs
Use the port-a-potty at Fiesta
If you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go. But avoid using a port-a-potty at all costs. Just remember our helpful tips from our Fiesta expert Janie. Be prepared in case you do need to use the loo and take plenty of wipes, toilet paper and hand sanitizer to supplement for the icky pop-up restroom.
Artwork by Robert Gonzales
Believe that everyone will stay calm and collected when it rains or gets cold
If there’s water on the road, San Antonio drivers become twice as reckless. And if it gets below 40 degrees out, expect the shelves at H-E-B to be empty. Don’t even get us started during the rare occurrences when it snows here.
Photo via Twitter / hurt__cobain
Try to explain “inside/outside the loop” to someone not from San Antonio
Some people just won’t get it.
Photo via Instagram / jesse0188
Disrespect Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili or David Robinson
Talk bad about Timmy and you’re automatically on everyone’s shit list. And if you dare say a bad thing about Manu or David, you’re dead to us.
Photo via Instagram / manuginobili
Skip ad in
Not be a Selena fan (the same goes for Willie Nelson and George Strait)
If you don’t love these Texas icons, what did you even listen to growing up?
Photo via Facebook / Selena
Swim in the San Antonio River
Let’s be real: the River Walk is absolutely gorgeous, but the river itself is not for recreational use. Take a dip here and you’re all but asking for an infection.
Photo via Instagram / arvid_perssson
Not get chicken-on-a-stick at Fiesta
Sure, some local restaurants offer chicken-on-a-stick year-round, but at Fiesta it just tastes different, ya know? No matter how long the line is, wait it out and get this puro delicacy.
Photo by JPL PRO - Julián P. Ledezma
Not take allergy medicine during mountain cedar season
Forget to take medicine and it’s basically RIP to your sinuses.
Photo via Wikipedia Commons
Wait til the last minute to order your seasonal tamales
While most families have a tradition of making tamales, there’s plenty who order to supplement their tamal needs or rely only on local small businesses. Wherever you fit in as a tamal customer, order early. A Christmas without tamales is a Christmas we don’t want to have.
Photo via Instagram / roninreckless
Wish Kawhi Leonard wasn’t traded
Don’t get us wrong, we’re thankful for the good times. But he showed his true colors and all we have to say is “good riddance.” (Because we’re polite like that.)
Photo via Twitter / TSN_Sports
Drive over the speed limit in Leon Valley, Windcrest, Olmos Park, or pretty much any of the small ‘burbs within San Antonio
Go even 5 mph over the limit and you’re pretty much asking for a ticket. Oh, and make sure to come to a complete stop at red lights, especially on Babcock Road in Leon Valley.
Photo via Facebook / Fox 8 News
Miss your exit – especially if it’s when you switch highways
Miss your exit in some parts of town and you’ll have to go another few miles JUST to turn around. Word to the wise: pay attention while you’re driving so you won’t be wasting gas over dumb stuff like this.
Photo via Shutterstock
Try not running into anyone you know at Fiesta
You’re gonna see EVERYONE, especially people you don’t want to see. So wear something cute and be prepared to do your fake smile, or just avoid saying hi altogether if you’re that bitch.
Photo courtesy of Fiesta San Antonio
Agree with Charles Barkley
As a prominent figure who consistently talks shit about San Antonio, the river and the women here, your best bet is keeping mum when Barkley comes up in conversation. Yes, even if you agree with him.
Photo via Twitter / johndelizondo
Skip ad in
Say anything about Austin is better than San Antonio
Think Austin is better? Then get the hell out of the Alamo City.
Photo via Instagram / thisisamandakae
Doubt the urban legends that are popular in San Antonio
Dismiss La Llorona or the Donkey Lady and they’re bound to get ya ass eventually. You’ve been warned.
Photo via Instagram / strange_world_archives
Wear a Lakers or Heat jersey
You’re pretty much asking for a fight if you rep the Lakers. We still don’t understand how there’s so many Lakers fans here.
Photo via Instagram / niewiadomski51
Think I-35 will ever not be under construction
While all of SA’s highways have construction at some point or another, I-35 is notorious for having closures and construction. It makes sense, since SA is a major city and still developing, but these growing pains are just too much. Just accept that I-35 will always have construction and your life will get slightly less stressful.
Photo via Instagram / txdot
Go to Chacho’s after 2 a.m.
While good for late night tacos and nachos, Chacho’s is also known for being hella shady (don’t @ us) at night. Stay out of trouble and go hang out somewhere else.
Photo via Instagram / trickynumber7
1/25
Go to H-E-B on any major holiday (or the day before)
Unless you’re trying to be on the news or really love crowds, why would you put yourself through that mess? Everything is gonna be out of stock, you’re guaranteed to have to battle someone for the stuff on your shopping list, the lines will be eternal and you definitely won’t get a decent parking spot. Worst of all, San Antonians are known to get feisty in tense situations. Let’s all agree to not wait until the last minute.
Photo via Twitter / erin_nichols

Newsletters

Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Calendar