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January 14, 2022 Slideshows » News

The 25 unwritten rules of San Antonio 

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San Antonio's a city with its own attitude and its own culture. And San Antonians — at least the ones who stick around for a few years — don't feel the need to make excuses for it. Deal with it, or head out on I-35, pendejo.

So, how do we codify what it means to be San Antonian? There aren't laws on the books. The rules aren't engraved on plaques that hang on the walls of public buildings. You might say being a true San Antonian is guided by unwritten laws. You know, the kind you feel in your heart and wear on your sleeve.

Recently, Reddit users from other cities began asking what the unwritten rules were for their hometowns. Inspired by that idea, we'd like to offer up these 25 unwritten rules of San Antonio. Hell, there are probably more, but let's consider this a starter to the conversation.
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What happens at Fiesta stays at Fiesta.
Photo by Jaime Monzon
Breakfast tastes better when it comes wrapped in foil.
Photo via Instagram / breaking.bread.in.sa
It doesn't matter that the Ghost Tracks has been debunked. That shit is real.
Photo via Google Maps
You can raise enough money for any relative's life-saving operation with a barbecue plate sale.
Photo via Instagram / puropinchesa
You can never watch Selena too many times.
Photo via Warner Bros.
Talk shit about the city but get pissed if anyone not from San Antonio does.
Photo via Twitter / @AngelaM_10_
Grudges against those who've betrayed the Spurs have no expiration date. (Looking at you, Kawhi Leonard.)
Photo via Twitter / @BrianRayy_
Every time you visit an older neighborhood, point out what wasn't there two years ago — and how dangerous it was five years ago.
Photo by Sanford Nowlin
Big Red is the only acceptable beverage to enjoy with barbacoa.
Photo via Instagram / sanantoniostephanie
Watch your speed through Windcrest.
Photo via Instagram / windcrestedc
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Hispanic Elvis is a superior local celebrity to Tommy Lee Jones.
Photo via Instagram / taino_impressions
Be prepared to sing along to "(Hey Baby) Que Paso" any time it pops up on a bar jukebox.
Photo via Twitter / Blue_Bridge_Rob
It's acceptable to refer to any place that serves cold beer as an "ice house."
Photo via Instagram / tonyssiesta
Don't visit any Tex-Mex restaurant that doesn't make its own flour tortillas.
Photo via Instagram / tacosr4lovers
Any time you drive by a Fred's Fish Fry, someone has to make a joke about it being a front for drug money.
Photo by Sanford Nowlin
Tex-Mex combo dinners should be referred to by numbers, as in "I'll have the No. 3 Plate with a chalupa on the side."
Photo via Instagram / eatdrinkandberichard
Don't correct your uncle when he's barbecuing and refers to the tongs as the "thongs."
Photo by Sanford Nowlin
You will root for UTSA even if you didn't go there.
Photo via Instagram / utsaathletics
If you think there may be lard in something, there is.
Photo via Instagam / this.is.sanantonio
Stock up an entire cart full of food, toilet paper, beer and camping fuel at H-E-B if there's even the slightest possibility it might freeze.
Photo via Instagram / thesweetlifediary
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If you ever get lost driving downtown, look for the Tower of the Americas.
Photo by Aimee Wyatt
What side of town someone lives on doesn't reveal as much as what high school they went to.
Photo courtesy of Edgewood Independent School District
An entire house worth of belongings can be moved in the back of one pickup truck.
Photo by Sarah Martinez
Gamez Law fights.
Photo via Google Maps
See one of the following bands at least once before you die: Saxon, Legs Diamond or UFO.
Photo by Jaime Monzon
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What happens at Fiesta stays at Fiesta.
Photo by Jaime Monzon

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